I was practically raised by my grandma who I believe just had to be an angel. No not the one with the wings, the one with the soul of angels and definetly not the body. She was short, dark and slightly plump and she had the heart of gold.
She had such a lot of tolerence and patience in her. She was gifted by the ability to always find the silver lining in the clouds and boy she had had a very very difficult life. She passed away 3 years back after seeing my last born just 5 months before she began her final journey. Her last moments were peaceful, so unlike all her life.
I often face alot of my own demons of quilt .. I wish I could have done more for her .. I wish I could have spend more time with her .. I wish I could have had her today so that she could see where we were, be happy for me, feel happiness too, bless me and my kids. She never had happiness but she always tried to find happiness in everything. That was special about her. She never Quit. She struggled and always smiled. Writing about her today makes me feel she was really too good to be true.
I think the most special part about our relationship was that it was so unconditional. She loved me coz she understood me. She didnt judge me like every one else. She didnt compare me to my siblings, she just loved me purely for who and what “I WAS” She had unshakable faith in me unlike anyone else. She knew my limitations and she sacrifised so much for me ,, in all those small and tiny deeds which at that time was a big deal for me.
I know God knows whats Best, but there are times when I reason why did she get just a pea for happiness in all her life inspite of all her kindness and all patience. She never got to enjoy anything and most of all “respect.”
I dont talk about her coz there is so much pain that is consuming me .. She didnt deserve the life she had .. she deserved so much more ..
I Pray that she finds peace in God’s own home. If only there was a way in which I could reach out to her and tell her that she is still very much a part of my life ,, She is mentioned almost everyday when I say stories to my boys or tell them, “my nano used to do that or my nano used to say that” .. They only have a vivid memory of her and probably as they grow up, I will keep that memory alive in their minds so that they never forget what a wonderful mother God had given me in my grandma. To honor her, I have named my card company after her name with mine : Amina & Naush.
This post was originally for some quotes I hadgathered about Getting old, but somehow I got involved in it with my own story, well for the lighter side of this post read on to these really cute quotes on getting old .. dont forget, we’re all getting there … …