Truths about parenting .. ..


TRUTHS ABOUT PARENTING

– A baby usually wakes up in the wee-wee hours of the morning.

– A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

– A young child is a noise with dirt on it.

– A youth becomes a man when the marks he wants to leave on the world have nothing to do with tires.

– An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.

– Avenge yourself; live long enough to be a problem to your children.

– Be nice to your kids, for it is they who will choose your nursing
home.

– Celibacy is not hereditary.

– Familiarity breeds children.

– For adult education, nothing beats children.

– God invented mothers because he couldn’t be everywhere at once.

– God invented guilt so mothers could be everywhere at once.

– Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your
brain.

– Having children will turn you into your parents.

– If a child looks like his father, that’s heredity; if he looks like a neighbor, that’s environment.

– If you have trouble getting your children’s attention, just sit
down and look comfortable.

– Ill-bred children always display their pest manners.

– Insanity is inherited; you get it from your kids.

– It now costs more to amuse a child than it once did to educate
his father.

– It rarely occurs to teenagers that the day will come when they’ll
know as little as their parents.

– Money isn’t everything, but it sure keeps the kids in touch.

Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.

– One child is often not enough, but two children can be far too
many.

– You can learn many things from children… like how much patience you have.

– Summer vacation is a time when parents realize that teachers are grossly underpaid.

– The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob
also turns to the left.

– There are three ways to get things done:
1) do it yourself
2) hire someone to do it
3) forbid your kids to do it

– There would be fewer problems with children if they had to chop wood to keep the television set going.

– Those who say they “sleep like a baby” haven’t got one.

– The best thing to spend on your children is time.

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