I am one of those hardcore optimist, who always manages to find something to cheer about no matter what the situation.
This year has just taught me some things new and some things that I better change and here are just a few of the things that it awakened in me, why awakened ? Well, becoz it was always something I knew but they were latent thoughts.
I learnt :
NEVER to take anyone or anything for granted. Cliche ~ I know, it has been said scores of times, yet we dont take it seriously enough unless we undergo some turmoil ourselves.
I came very close to loosing Sam. Months went by where we are religiously involved in eachother’s lives without really trying hard to bring in that intimacy factor. I am a real romantic but we just got so used to the routine house life … we are so content with the regular mundane household issues .. We forget how special we are in each other’s lives…. We forget how hand in glove our relationship is …. We forget to live life especially speical “TODAY”instead of just being mom, dad, grocery, bills, rent, mortage, car wash, clothes from laundry, visitors from abroad …..
Sam’s operation and the trauma that followed taught me that each moment counts and we HAVE to appreciate THAT moment. We cant wait to make things happen. We just “have to make time” and do them.
I learnt that :
Strength does not come from being strong at all times, or seeming strong at all times. It comes from believing in ALLAH and believing that HE has the power over all things. Its so simple, when we place our fears and our trust in HIM, then he is the ONE to carry us thru it.
While in the hospital, I met people with other ailments. Some cursed their luck, some consoled themselves with their misfortune. Some questioned their God. And some believed that God was punishing them. I heard many “Why Me ?” But I also learned a remarkable truth about life and the will to live.
A two year old baby, while returning with his mother from Al Ain, met with an accident. The fuel tank burst into flames. The car was a total loss… “THAT” was not the tragedy … this young baby kept hitting the extremly hot fire stricken window in an attempt to rescue himself from the burning car. Whats worse is that he saw his mother burn infront of him, seated infront of him in the drivers seat. Apparently only her fragile charred body came out of that car, later that day. A Passerby car stopped on that remote road and spotted the little baby. Most heroically they managed to pull him out. The mother had bid farewell to the world as soon as the accident occured, fastened in her seat belt. How ironic would it be, that the father was a driving instructor ??? That boy not only bears the trauma of not having a mother, seeing his mother burn infront of him but also 45-50 % of his own body has 3rd degree burns. Even after intensive reconstructive surgery and grafting and all, his case still hangs by a thread.
I met him in one the weakest moments of my life. While, sam’s fate remained largely uncertain soon after his 9 hour long surgery. How much can one bear ? What keeps people going on ? Resilience ? No options ? The need to be alive ? What was the plight of the father of that little chap who had skin hanging from his head and face, who cried in pain all night having to endure open wet wounds that could not be dressed !! Who could not even understand the baby language of that little bundle of joy who’s lost the warmth and tender arms of his mother forever. How hard must it have been for Malik-u-Maut to perform his duty that unfortunate day.
Not only did I learn that we should be careful with what we wish for but also that we should appreciate that which we got after our wish came true.
There are a little over a million little and big things that we get even without wishing for them, and how often do we thank the Almighty for them ? RARELY. but its easy to question and ask “WHY ME” when situations turn grey.
I learnt that for what ever we had been blessed with this year, we could have been given a much worse deal ! Atleast SAM is alive. Atleast he recovered. He is mobile, can use all of his body and mind. Atleast he has been diagnosed early on, atleast he has a disease which has some hope of treatment and cure. Atleast we have neighbours who cared for our children, we had people (whom I never met ! ) who used to pick and drop my sons to and fro school. We had family and relatives who stuck by me.
I have learnt that we can become charged up so immensely and work with some super human effort in adverse conditions. Today it takes me a day to make up my mind if I “have to” go to Abu Dhabi ( 150kms away from Dubai or 2 hour drive one way ) and yet while all “that” was happening, I was travelling EVERY SINGLE DAY, to and fro Abu Dhabi ~ Dubai for nearly a month !!!!!!!! NO BREAKS. I’d leave Sam at 11:00 pm from Abu Dhabi only to reach Dubai to the Kids at 1:00 am. A little sleep and I’d be up at 5:00 am. After all the boys left for school, I’d be out again heading for Abu Dhabi by 9:00 am !!! I remember many a times, when I almost dozzed off on the highway !!
What kept me going ? Stength ? Determination ? Oh no … those were there, but alot after “faith that Allah swt would get us thru it”.
I would like to continue this post for it has gotten very long, so I’ll break it up into three part. Join me back in my next post on ” Lessons from 2010″