The Stroller

The advert said, ‘designed for comfort and safety of your precious little one’

Six months later, mom asked,

but where would the baby bag go ?

but where would little johnny’s rattle go, his bottle go, his bibs go, his pacifier, his teddy, his cap, his socks go ?

and his bag of toys ?

and where would the gift box for Anna’s party go ?

and what about the laptop, spare sandals, grocery bags, baby blanket, and what not !!

DSC_1886

A year later …….

Introducing the efficient way to carry it all !!  minus the baby 🙂

the stroller

Just to clarify, We have three children, and our strollers, were homes on wheels to our boys, only when they slept 🙂 The rest of the time, they were used for carrying just about everything under the sky 🙂

Blinded by paganism.

Even when it is right infront of them ~ even when they are clearly told so by one of them ~ they believe not !!

What a misguided lot they are !

Drew Carey says it like it is :-

Blessings to those who are guided and prayers for those who are lost.

 

Lower your gaze ~ my brothers.

This picture speaks volumes !!

ArabsWithBadEyes

  • We all claim to love Allah swt
  • We all claim to pray salaat.
  • We all claim to give Zakaat.
  • We keep saum to please Allah swt in Ramadhan
  • Yet, what we don’t realize is that these are the small tests that Allah swt presents to us.
  • Did we remember what we were taught during our upbringing ?
  • Did we remember our hadith ?
  • Did we even remember what our beloved Prophet did when non-mahram women passed by ?
  • How many passed this test ? How many failed ?
  • Please remember brothers AND sisters, ‘tests’ don’t always come in huge and dire situations ~ mostly they come in small packages to test the imaan.
  • Remember ~ There is zina from the eyes as well.
  • Infact the most complicated situations, almost always arise from the most “innocent of meetings”
  • Lower your gaze, my brothers. It will lead you straight to an unbearable place.
  • May Allah swt protect our beautiful ummah. Ameen.

 

 

Marital Traslations !

1511430_3888834876078_1005890722_n
Translations for men

These translations are for all of you wonderful women out there, so that you will know what we really mean when we say…

“IT’S A GUY THING”

Translated:* “There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical.”

“CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?”

Translated:* “Why isn’t it already on the table?”

“UH HUH,” “SURE, HONEY,” OR “YES, DEAR”

Translated:* Absolutely nothing. It’s a conditioned response.

“IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN”

Translated:* “I have no idea how it works.”

“TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU’RE WORKING TOO HARD.”

Translated:* “I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.”

“THAT’S INTERESTING, DEAR.”

Translated:* “Are you still talking?”

“YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.”

Translated:* “I remember the theme song to ‘F Troop,’ the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I’ve ever owned… but I forgot your birthday.”

“OH, DON’T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT’S NO BIG DEAL.”

Translated:* “I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I’m hurt.”

“HEY, I’VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I’M DOING.”

Translated:* “And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.”

“I CAN’T FIND IT.”

Translated:* “It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I’m completely clueless.”

“WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?”

Translated:* “What did you catch me at?”

“I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.”

Translated:* “No one will ever see us alive again.”

“WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK.”

Translated:* “I make the messes; she cleans them up.”

Am I driving safely !!

I duly appreciate, that Dubai Police does implement several creative and innovative ways to tackle reckless driving. However, as much as I commend them, I fail to understand, why have companies started these strategic ways of evading penalties.

On one two many occasions, I have jotted down the number of the vehicle and called the company telephone number (which is displayed in the “am I driving safely, If not call so and so”) But of late, I have noticed that the telephone numbers are mobile numbers which are generally switched off !!! or in this particular case, an email address is displayed.

DSCF2035

The mind wonders, how does someone manoeuver a car, jot down the email address and then scan for the car plate ????

I mean, is this ridiculous or WHAT ???

Brain Teaser or W H A T ???

 
  1. When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it? (to be given a thought)
 
  2. If the “black box” flight recorder is never damaged during a plane crash, why isn’t the whole airplane made out of that stuff? (very good thinking)
 
  3. Who copyrighted the copyright symbol? (who knows)
 
   4. Can you cry under water? 
 
   5. Why do people say, “you’ve been working like a dog” when dogs just sit around all day? (I think they meant something else)
 
  6. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?  (Never noticed it till now !!)
  
   7. Do fish ever get thirsty? 
 
  8. Can you get cornered in a round room? 
 
  9. Why do birds not fall out of trees when they sleep? 
 
  10. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,then what is baby oil made from? (No comments)
 
  11. What should one call a male ladybird? 
 
  12. If a person suffered from amnesia and then was cured would they remember that they forgot? 
 
  13. Can you blow a balloon up under water? (yes u can)
 
  14. Why is it called a “building” when it is already built? (strange isn’t it)
 
  15. If you were traveling at the speed of sound and you turned on your radio would you be able to hear it? (got to think scientifically)
 
  16. If you’re traveling at the speed of light and you turn your headlights on, what happens?
 
   17. Why is it called a TV set when there’s only one? 
 
   18. Why do most cars have speedometer that go up to at least 130 when you legally can’t go that fast on any road?
 
  19. If drink & drive is not allowed why the hell do they have parking in Bars?
 
  ******  Want more ?????

Baby like Kitten.

I think, kittens are natural models ! Alhamduallah, as muslims we are allowed to keep cats as pets and quite honestly, I dont think, I can do a day without hearing my little babies purrrrrs !

This is a link of one of the cutest little kitty drinking/sucking or maybe just licking his bottle and making this really cutesy sound like num num num …. …. whats even more amazing is how he is holding his tiny bottle !

I am sure, you will be smiling once you see and hear the little fur ball :-

http://www.godvine.com/Cat-Absolutely-Loves-Being-Bottle-Fed-LOL-1507.html

I am sure, your smiling in amazement !

Have a nice day all !

Health Remedies.

Alot of people these days have turned to herbal remedies. In my opinion, with the amount of pollution in our air, food and environment, it is really difficult to remain unaffected by toxins ~ they are going to find a way to enter your body !   Although I am a firm believer of “preventive measures” ~ there are rarely any preventive meausures, I practise, myself 🙂 Yes, pretty guilty, I’m afraid !!

Came across this, the other day in my mail box  and wanted to share it with you’ll :-

HEALTHY TIPS

1 Apple /day =No Doctor

1 Tulsi Leaf /Day=No cancer

1 Lemon/Day =No Fat

1 Cup Milk /Day=No Bone Problems.

3 Litres Water/Day=No Diseases.

As I have a young adoloscent in the house knocking on his teenage”hood”, I encourage him to have plenty of water. He does ~ I dont !!

I have been “gifted” oesteoporosis in my mothers side, and still, cant get myself to drink, soya milk or even normal low fat milk, knowing very well, that I already have bone issues !!

And how many coffee’s do I consume in a day ?? and oh yeah ~How much sugar in each cup ??  I dont even want to go there !!

Health and me are really miles away from each other ~ actually continents away !  Just realized ~ this post has been more about naush-bashing rather than healthy tips. 

 In conclusion, taste is really something which is probably going to be responsible for most of our health issues (atleast MY health issues)

Leaving you on that note.

Thanks for stopping by and have a beautiful day.

Naush

The unsucessful Survey !

A friend forwarded this mail to me and It had me bursting at the seams with laughter ! By no means, do I believe in generalizing a community based on borders, color or religion but there is alittle truth in some of these sentences ! Please take it with a small dose of humor !
 

UNiTED NATIONS Conducted a Survey.

The Question Was:
“Give Your Honest Opinion about Food Shortage in Rest of the WorLd”
The survey badLy FAiLED.

Because,
in AFRiCA,
people didn’t know what FOOD is.
CHiNESE didn’t know what OPiNiON is.
EUROPEANS didn’t know what ShORTAGE is.
PAKiSTANiS & iNDiANS didnt know what HONESTY is.
iSRAELiS didnt know what
‘UNiTED NATiONS’ is.
&
AMERiCANS didnt know what the hell
“REST OF THE WORLD” is?….

 

Only in America.

 

1. Only in America……

can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

 

2. Only in America……

are there handicap parking spaces in front of a skating rink.

 

3. Only in America……

do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

 

4. Only in America……

do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet Coke.

 

5. Only in America……

do banks leave both doors to the vault open and then chain the pens to the counters.

 

6. Only in America……

do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

 

7. Only in America……

do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.

 

8. Only in America……

do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

 

9. Only in America……

do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well:

“Poli” in Latin meaning “many” and “tics” meaning “bloodsucking creatures”.

 

10. Only in America……

do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

 ~Author Unknown~

 

Only in America……

Can you laugh at such things and still see the blessing.

A women . . . . .

Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.

If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby.

If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home.

 If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal.

 If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart.

 She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

 So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of s*&t.”

 

Husbands & Wives and some more.

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very sexy nightie.
‘Tie me up,’ she purred, ‘and you can do anything you want.’
So he tied her up and went golfing.


*****************************************

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house.
She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, ‘Honey, pack your bags. I won the lottery!’
The husband said, ‘Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?’
‘Doesn’t matter,’ she said. ‘Just get out.’

********************************************
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.


*************************************

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver’s license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test.
The optician showed him a card with the letters

‘C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.’
‘Can you read this?’ the optician asked.
‘Read it?’ the Polish guy replied, ‘I know the guy.’

******************************************

Mother Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, ‘I must tell you all something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.’
‘Thank God,’ said an elderly nun at the back. ‘I’m so tired of chardonnay.’

********************************************
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her husband burst into the kitchen. ‘Careful,’ he said, ‘CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my gosh! You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They’re going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don’t forget to salt them. You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt! USE THE SALT! THE SALT!’ The wife stared at him. ‘What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don’t know how to fry a couple of eggs?’ The husband calmly replied, ‘I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I’m driving.’



********************************************************

Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted by the Army.
On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.
That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair.
On his second day, the Army issued Herman a toothbrush.
That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven of his teeth.
On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap.
The Army has been looking for Herman for 51 years.

SAYING GOODBYE TO MOTHER.

We were dressed, and ready to go out  for the New Years Eve Party. We turned on a night light, turned the answering  machine on, covered our pet parakeet, and put the cat in the  backyard.We phoned the local cab company and  requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door to leave the  house.

As we walked out the door, the cat we  had put out in the yard, scoots back into the house. We didn’t want the cat shut in the house, because she always tries to eat the bird.

My wife goes on out to the taxi, while  I went back inside to get the cat . The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot  pursuit. 

Waiting in the cab, my wife doesn’t want the driver to know  that the house will be empty for the night. So, she explains to the taxi  driver that I will be out soon, ‘He’s just going upstairs to say goodbye to my  mother.’

A few minutes later, I get into the  cab. ‘Sorry I took so long,’ I said, as we drove away. ‘That stupid bitch was  hiding under the bed. I had to poke her ass with a coat hanger to get her to  come out! She tried to take off, so I grabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to  wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching me. But it worked! I hauled  her fat ass downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!’

The cab  driver hit a parked car.

Learning Alphabets in Nursery Schools

Continuing in the last post’s theme is another way, our newer generation will be learning the letters/alphabets in a rather keyboard oriented route.

Here’s a glimpse :-

A:   APPLE

B:   BLUETOOTH 
     
C:   CHAT

D:  DOWNLOAD

E:  E  MAIL 
   
F:   FACEBOOK

G:   GOOGLE

H:  HEWLETT  PACKARD

I:      iPHONE

J:   JAVA

K:   KINGSTON

L:    LAPTOP

M:   MESSENGER

N:   NERO

O:   ORKUT

P:   PICASSA

Q:  QUICK  H EAL

R:   RAM

S:   SERVER

T:   TWITTER

U:   USB

V:   VISTA

W:   WiFi

X:    Xp

Y:  YOU  TUBE

Z:   ZORPIA

Thank God …. A is still Apple

Internet Abbreviations.

I remember when I was in school, somewhere in 1985-86. We were introduced to computer software in school in the form of a subject. I remember some of my friends opting for Dbase and Lotus.  Those who opted for computers were considered progressive, high tech and really intelligent. Somewhere in 1990, I too enrolled for a course in C language. Not that anything materialized from it ~ I did not even pass the course !!!

Over a period of the next 10 years. Computers really seeped thru every channel of transaction we made. Ofcourse Microsoft was a revolution in itself. The WWW opened the world like nothing before. We knew what Mrs Peng cooked for dinner far away in a tiny province of china or what programe young Steven was watching in a remote village close to Durban. The world seemed to be magically rolled up and fitted into the gazillions of dots and @ in our computer screens. It is still amazing !! And I am reminded about this phenomeon when my young son asks me, how did you find things or do projects before computers ?? Wow, Now THAT was a challenge.  Although it did not seem so then.

This also brings me to the weird and wonderful world of chat rooms, forums, discussion boards etc.  Being a typist, I find typing rather easy and convenient but I can understand how impossibly difficult it must be for those who use two forefingers to get around so many keys. My husband for instance has mastered the keyboard with his two forefingers, amazingly.

Probably becoz of this, people have these really short, abbreviated codes in these forums. It is amusing and amazing, and sometimes, its hard to keeep up with the scores of newly abbreviated terms online. Here are some of them for you. Personally, I dont like it. I prefer simple english to communicate. Probably the only word I generally abbreviate, which has now almost become a signature in my articles is ~ becoz for because and thru for through. I have  been doing so since school and have got into trouble on several occasions for using them. And what do you know now ~ My cousin sister who is a principal in a school, is using some of these codes to communicate !!!!

So when your on facebook or tweeter and come across so really weird looking word which does not make any sense, please turn to this post to make some sense of it !!! Here is a small collection of them :

Oh, SMH means Scratching My Head or Shaking my head.

1. 73: Best Regards
2. AFAIC: As Far As I’m Concerned
3. AYSOS: Are You Stupid or Something?
4. BAC: By Any Chance
5. BBN: Bye Bye Now
6. BRB: Be Right Back
7. CSG Chuckle Snicker Grin
8. DH: (depending on your mood!) Dear Husband ~ Darned Husband ~ Demented Husband
9. DIY: Do It Yourself
10. EOD: End Of Discussion
11. FAQ: Frequently Asked Questions
12. GBTW: Get Back To Work
13. GMTA: Great Minds Think Alike
14. H&K: Hug and Kiss
15. HAGU: Have A Good ‘Un
16. Clapping: Hands And Wetting My Pants
17. IAE: In Any Event
18. IMPE: In My Previous/Personal Experience
19. ISP: Internet Service Provider
20. J/K: Just Kidding
21. L8R: Later
22. LHU: Lord Help Us
23. LOLOL: Laughing Out Loud On Line
24. LY: Love Ya
25. MYOB: Mind Your Own Business
26. nOOb: Newbie
27. PMFJI: Pardon Me For Jumping In
28. PS: Post Script
29. QSO: Conversation
30. ROTFLMAO: Rolling On The Floor Laughing My A** Off
31. ROFLCOPTER: Rolling on Floor Laughing and Spinning Around in Circles
32. SIL: Sister In Law
33. SOHF: Sense Of Humor Failure
34. TANSTAAFL: There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Free Lunch
35. TOS: Terms Of Service
36. TTYL: Talk To You Later
37. VDW: Very Dear Wife
38. WTH: What/Who The Heck (or H**, or sub an ‘F’ for the ‘H’)
39. WYSIWYG: What You See Is What You Get
40. YWIA: You’re Welcome In Advance