Learn Corporate Language.

worker_glassesCORPORATE LANGUAGE

 1.”We will do it” means “You will do it”

 2.”You have done a great job” means “More work to be given to you”

3.”We are working on it” means “We have not yet started working on the same”

4.”Tomorrow first thing in the morning” means “Its not getting done “At least not tomorrow!”

5.”After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views? means “I have already decided, I will tell you what to do”

6.”There was a slight miscommunication” means “We had actually lied”

7.”Lets call a meeting and discuss” means”I have no time now, will talk later”

8.”We can always do it” means “We actually cannot do the same on time”

9.”We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline” means “The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time.”

10.”We had slight differences of opinion ” means “We had actually fought”

11.”Make a list of the work that you do and let’s see how I can help you” means “Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me”

12.”You should have told me earlier” means “Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!”

13.”We need to find out the real reason” means “Well I will tell you where your fault is”

14.”Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected,” means, “Well you know…”

15.”We are a team,” means, “I am not the only one to be blamed”

16.”That’s actually a good question” means “I do not know much more about it”

17.”All the Best” means “You are in trouble or Something to be happen”

Three Corporate Lessons

Lesson Number One :

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow , and asked him, ” Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long ?”

The crow answered :”Sure, why not.” So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story is :

 ~~ To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up  ~~ 

Figures !!! Naturally all those right up the ladder have been so absorbed in themselves and their with mounting golf course membership fees and all that extravagance and traveling,  it is no surprise that the World economy is going  gone to the dogs.

Shame … .. shame.

Lesson 2 follows  tomorrow.