The Special Mother

by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice,

a few by social pressure and a couple by habit.


This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how these mothers are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.


As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.


“Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia.”


“Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint…give her Gerard. He’s used to profanity.”


Finally he passes a name to an angel and smiles.


“Give her a handicapped child.”


The angel is curious. “Why this one, God? She’s so happy.”


“Exactly,” smiles God.


“But does she have the patience?” asks the angel.


“I don’t want her to have too much patience, or she’ll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off she’ll handle it.”


“I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I’m going to give her has a world of it’s own. She has to make it live in her world, and that’s not going to be easy.”


“But Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you.”


The angel gasps, “Selfishness? Is that a virtue?”

She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life
because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side.”

“Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.”

“Could I give a handicapped child a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel.”

God smiles.

“No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.”

God nods.

“If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn’t know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word.
She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see–ignorance, cruelty, prejudice–and allow her to rise above them.

“And what about her Patron Saint?” asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.

God smiles.

“A mirror will suffice.”

Salt Play ~ Therapy & Fun

honest results visible : ' this ' by sawaab

honest results visible : ' this ' by sawaab

Last week sam was in Libya, Algeria etc and that really left us feeling abit low. I have let the kids completly enjoy the  initial outlet, the kids desperately wanted after the exams, last two to three weeks and now it has started to fade off. They are getting restless and need some form of constructive routine. As such we have been sleeping at the wee hours of the night/morning and having breakfast at lunch !!

 Playstation ~ computer games and Cartoons are the only agendas in their lives at the moment.  These kids have really had to bury their heads in alot many books this year and thats why I felt it was ok to let them just “Chill out”.

Hopefully they will be getting into a better schedule with activities and sports shortly. Till then, I am going to relax too.

Last week, we played with salt. The boys not only made signs and alphabets but they also enjoyed making things with it. I could see sawaab making improvements in his spelling, but unfortunetly there was little to no progress in Eman’s case, it saddened me to see, how desperately he tried and kept trying. There is immense zest in this little fellow to “try” and try he does only he constantly looks at my face for reactions.  He excels with just a little encouragement but perhaps I am the one who really needs to practise more patience with him.

All you need is a large tray, some salt and a few pieces like twigs, combs or plastic knives. It adds a whole lot of fun to an afternoon.

All you need is a large tray, some salt and a few pieces like twigs, combs or plastic knives. It adds a whole lot of fun to an afternoon.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

abba I miss u, by sawaab .. message for his father by sawaab

abba I miss u, by sawaab .. message for his father by sawaab

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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He has written his name : as emna where as it is Eman !

He has written his name : as emna where as it is Eman !

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

struggling to read and write

struggling to read and write

Bilal, taking it a step ahead. Blowing to make designs later using a straw too.

Bilal, taking it a step ahead. Blowing to make designs later using a straw too.

Hopefully we will be making salt dough tomorrow, and thats a whole new dimension of fun and experimentation.

A poem for my children.

There are some times in life when we find ourselves rather helpless. We want the best for those we love, yet destiny has a different story laid out for us. I stand at cross roads having to decide such critical decisions. I am not certain what the reperussions would be on my boys. 

In my confusion and despair, I felt inspired to pen my thoughts, before I knew it, it took shape of a poem. Its nearly after 20 years that I felt the pain to write a poem today. pain, coz I am one of those people who are inspire to write when hurt and create when happy.  Actually its less a poem but my wish, my hope, my prayer for my boys. A mother is the backbone of a family and she constantly has to remain strong. Sometimes I find myself drifting from my hopes and it scares me.

This poem is for my sons who are bonded for better or worse times, but struggle every single day to fight in this very perfect world.  

  They are all dyslexic.

 

My darling Son,

You are unique,

You are special,

You are capable of everything under the sun.

 

In everything you see, feel and show

You are clear yet unsure

 

My precious one, you will always have me beside you,

We will be brave and fight it thru

 

Darling son, don’t ever let them change you

For your disability is not a failure in you,

I know, struggle will always be your best friend

But better that, than silly boys to tend

 

Sensitive as you are

Mocked as you are

Believe in yourself, believe in me

At your feet, this world will be

 

Let your imagination soar

Let your creativity find its core

Your world is so much more beautiful

While ours full of  mean and ridicule   

You have to climb these biased mountains

No one else but you should be certain

 

You are special

You are gifted

You are God’s own chosen one

Use it to bring comfort to others

Use to show kindness to other brothers

 

I feel miserable when I see you lonely in your class

Then I feel perhaps its coz you are a class apart !

 

Don’t join the flock to be one of them

Make instead your own path

Believe that you have been sent down to fulfill a purpose

Be happy, be grateful, we have one another

It may seem difficult today but the road does go further

 

I am with you today in body

Tomorrow in spirit and perhaps

Another day only but in your prayers

Whenever where ever you are,

 Remember God’s chosen one, you are  

Is this school for me ?

what a constructive weekend that was ! But I suppose That is just ME. can work best under pressure. I knew this last week would be terribly busy but to think of it that we could pack so many chores in just two days and achieve it ! Wow .. its such a good feeling of having completed all of them. AND that too, draging the poor boys everywhere with us.

So I am finding some direction for the school thingy that has been sitting on my chest for the last 7 months ! All the while we had one particular school in mind but we so concerned with some of vibes that I had been getting. It so happens that, when I just got fed up of the whole thing and said we’ll put them back to the old/previous school, we decided to check up on a school I had checked 3 years back and as it turns out, they do have teachers who understand the concept of dyslexia and although they are not trained to teach in special ways, they can assist coz the class room size is quite small, only 13 kids per class, which ofcourse is good for us. So we have that appointment and assesment today which will decide if this is the school for us. I am very nervous coz I think this might be the last hope for US, and to think of it that the boys have not touched their books in the last 3 months !!! Suddenly I found myself asking the boys oral maths sums and thank God I got a few right answers ! I will post some information about dyslexia in my next post for all those parents who are wondering what is this term.

Today was the first day of Ramadan, inshallah. To all the Muslim brothers and Sisters out there, Ramadan Mubarak. Please remember the gates of hell are closed this entire month, Shaitaan (Satan) is chained. It will be easier to control our ill desires, tempers and temptations this month. Please remember the Merit of salaat in this month. Please remember that this is the most loved and crucial month to our Rasool Sal alah wa alai hi wa salam. Please remember that we all are examples for the rest of the world and where Islam is so wrongly looked upon, we all have to change the misconceptions by setting good examples by ourselves. Inshallah.