Birthday Treat bags and A special boy.

May 11 1999 My oldest son, Bilal was born, May 10 2002, exactly 3 years later, my youngest and third son, Eman was born. Now for those of you with kids placed so closely in birth dates, I dont exactly know how you go around making them feel special !  Well, in a way, I’m saved from all those complications coz we dont celebrate birthdays, well atleast not in the traditional way carried out, all over the world ~ Cake, song, birthday bumbs and whats worse is this new ‘thing” about smashing chunks of cake over the birthday persons face, clothes etc, which is not only disgusting but also being ungrateful to the food and the many bounties of the Almighty  (cake in this case).

When the kids were smaller, I would send some goody bags with them to school for their classmates and take them out for a “MOVIE” which we generally watch only on special occasions or visit their favorite activity parks like kidzania, lou lou al dagongs, magic planet etc. Now that Bilal is just entering his teens, its really difficult coz Eman being 9 still wants to do the same things while Bilal would prefer paint ball park or the bowling alley ! Now thats really a row between the two birthday boys.

Truth be told, its a celebration for me. I turned mom for the first time. All those beautiful and traumatic memories of their pregnancy and delivery come, flooding back on these days.  Its really all too special for me coz these guys are exceptionally understanding, well behaved and just a whole bunch of fun to be around with. Ofcourse, there is that one guy who feels totally out of place coz his birthday falls in July ~ he is not made to feel special by his friends becoz schools out for summer holidays. And you see “FRIENDS” is what its all about !!!

Well, for Eman, these are the goody bags I made for his school.

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For a couple of years, after Eman was born, when they didnt understand the concept of birthdays and such,  I used to take the guys to meet this particularly special little chap who has been in Dubai Hospital from alittle after he was born and probably will stay there for the rest of his life.  His name was Aboudi.

I was having a very complicated pregnancy with Eman. I was in my 6th month when they admitted me much against my wishes,  for severe bleeding. Sawaab was just 9 months old while Bilal was around 3 years. Even now as I pass Dubai Hospital, I watch the 5th floor visitors lounge window and remember how helpless, I used to feel, knowing that both my babies were miles apart in the day and were having such a disturbed time in the evening. Those were such desperate times. Sam would struggle to keep some order in our lives between visiting me in the hospital and managing the babies. And then just as things could’nt have gone worse, Sawaab’s bronchitis devoloped into pneumonia. I remember being on the 5th floor pre-delivery ward while my baby was admitted on the second floor. What a rucous I created when I found out that evening !!! Inspite of my state, nothing in the world could hold me back from being with him. I suppose you call that a “maternal thing” but at that point, I just knew I wanted him just as much as he wanted me. What a huge fight I had with my consulting gyne to release me and release I did get !!!!!!

 It was at that time, when I shifted on the 2nd floor to look after Sawaab that I saw little Aboudi. At that time, he must ave been around 3 years. Cerebral palsy. He was tied with bandages to the cot lest he harm himself. A fair child, drooling away with eyes that I felt were imploring. The nurses communicated with him and somehow he did make some movements to respond. A large part of the day we was sitting by the corner of his cot, watching and sometimes even made to sit of the stroller.  He was a futile cause … he was another one of those, children of a lesser God. My heart ached when I saw him for the first time, I remember, hugging him and later crying away when I saw my own child. No one ever gave away any of this background until one day, one of Aboudi’s favorite attendents, who had become very attached to me told me that he was dropped off at the hospital emergency department by a driver late in the night.  What a heartless mother or did I speak too soon ? No . . . .  She was a heartless woman. To dump a 10 day old baby just becoz he was probably never going to be like all the other kids !!!!!  Nobody claimed him. He was a waif. It breaks my heart to think, that no one in this whole world loves  that little tiny boy with such a huge disease. No one even knew of his existence.  No mother to comfort him, no one to hug him, embrace him with kisses upon kisses, no one to wipe his tears and fears. How cruel. 

Aboudi made me realize that I had no pain at all.  Aboudi gave me that first time feeling of what it feels like, to be in this world ALL ALONE with a huge handicap. The sisters in the ward treated him with affection and dignity and I am so grateful that they did not do it as a part of their job but for humanity.

For the next 3 years, I kept visiting Aboudi with my boys and some toys in hand. Until we moved to the Ranches and life took on a different pace all together. Often I have seen in documentaries and movies about orphans, abused children or such and my heart goes out to each one of them but Aboudi was the child who actually made me come face to face with that situation and I realized I was really no match for his spirit and resilience. I believe he has suffered tremendously but as if it is some solace,  in the hereafter, he will be one of Allah swts blessed ones. Inshallah.

Amongst the many many things that Aboudi made me realize long back was also that birthdays, anniversaries are not for spending lavishly on parties but on fullfilling small and big dreams with those who matter the most to us. Spending in the way of the less fortunate, a hospital visit, a trip to the home of seniors and yes, also creating special memories with near and dear ones. Bilal has has only three friends through out the year and he wishes for them to somehow be a part of “his” day while Eman has an entire school which has been his “BEST” friend. Now isnt “that” a task !!

If you are interested in knowing about Aboudi’s present state, please do comment and I shall reply.

Child Marriage !!

 

Observe the expression on the girl's face sitting on the right ! Priceless :)

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street.  

The father, being modern and well-schooled in  handling children, hid his smile behind his hand.    
   ‘That’s a serious step,’ he said.      

‘Have you thought it out completely?’  

‘Yes,’ his young son answered.  

‘We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers.  It’s right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark.’                

‘How about transportation?’ the father asked.
 ‘I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles,’   the little boy answered.

                
The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.                

       Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, ‘What about babies?  When you’re married,  you’re liable to have babies, you know.’

‘We’ve thought about that, too,’  
the little boy replied.  
             
         ‘We’re not going to have babies.                
Every time she lays an egg,

I’m going to step on it!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxo
 
        NOW THAT’S BIRTH CONTROL-!        

Playing Santa in January.

Today was Samie’s last vacation day and lo ! feeling so sad that he wont be enjoying the relaxation with us from tomorrow. This vacation although was the first where we were in Dubai but it was so much fun and calming. There were no obligations, no stress, no forced shopping, and definetly no early mornings !! It was truck loads of fun.

Sam arrived rather late after picking up Eman from school and before I knew it, there were heaps of presents he bought for all of us. Okay so let me start with me, he got me this marinade tray with board, a full set of knife set AND, AND AND ………. He also bought this really handy tool box. You see sam generally offers his salat in my studio and wonders how I manage to create anything in the middle of all the  clutter and chaos in my studio. This nice man wanted to make it easy and get my space alittle organized so voila, what a lovely and thought ful gift.

Oh yeah, and the kids got something too, they love washing Sam and my car, but by the end of it, there are gallons upon gallons spend on the shower so he got them the pressure kit for washing the cars to make the chore fun and more economical for us.

Oh and how could he forget “the other” kids. Pepper has claimed the new catnip and cat scratch tray as his own. He has strongly placed it as not limit zone for poor Keiki. 

There isnt a day that passes by when I dont thank my Allah for blessing me with the most compassionate and thoughtful man. I wanted to share the pictures with you’ll.

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On the other hand, have you wondered why husbands come up with the most practical and productive gifts for their wives and where does all the romance disappear with chocolates and flowers ???

If I were one of em thankless women, I would be thinking there are vibes I am getting from these gifts like

” Lady. We need to eat more bbq meals ! 

” Get your chaos Organized. Woman !!

” Wash the car more often boys” !!

Last but the most important : Get those paws  outta my couch and into your own turf !!

 USE that scratching pad !!!!! 

But thats just the humor in me .. have to have the last laugh now 🙂

New Year’s Eve at The World’s Tallest Tower.

A Very blessed year to all of you reading this post ! 2010 came with a mixed bag of fortunate and very unfortunate events like salt and pepper but finally we can put all that behind us and move forward.

To all those of you, feeling low right now, please remember, it could be worse. Please try to see where you are fortunate in so many other ways and dont despair your situation. There is so much more we should be thankful about. Good health would have to be right there on top of that list ! Loneliness is a dread but atleast being alive and in good health is better than being with selfish and calculating companions. Please friends, Keep the faith.

Well for me the last couple of weeks were total relaxation.

A couple a good news : 

  • I won the basic grey blog candy. Which was a first for me ! If you havent won anything yet or if you have won too, you know exactly how excieting it is winning something. Especially something you really like. It may be sometime before which I receive my prize though.
  • I am cleared of my tumor which I was on treatment for over the last 6 months for. That is really “GREAT” news and a relief !!!

For the last decade we have spend every New Year eve in our home country but really felt so alienated and dependant on others becoz we really were there in our own country only as ‘visitors’ !  And finally this winter we are here and we spend the new years eve watching the fireworks at the super phenomenal Burj Khalifa ! It was just great ! Dubai was chilled cold last night. And just having the freedom to travel anywhere at any hour here, is so so great. We really are fortunate to be living in such a country without fear of carrying our national documents, or fear of being stolen, fear of not carrying enough eatables coz nearly all the petrol pumps have a fantastic grocer which is 24 hours.  Counting small pleasures. 

Here are just a couple of pictures of the celebration last night :

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Dubai Tube family has a picnic.

We’re having a 4 day long long loooooooooong weekend and We have been completely enjoying it. Its really very rare to get so many holidays one after the other. First Eid holidays and now the UAE National day weekend have really been stress relievers.

I dont think we are a very traditional or rather conventional family. I realized this truly when on Friday, I suggested that since the weather is so super fantastic, why dont we go to the beach and thats when It popped to me, that we havent had a beach visit or a park visit in like ……… forever. Maybe once when the boys were 4 or 5 ! Thats nearly 5 years back ! Why have we become such a tube family. Mom ~ tube, dad~ tube and kids~tube oriented.

Suddenly there was an urge .. a need to break the spell. Although We were getting a bit late, I decided that we just had to enjoy the cool waters. Some of these pictures speak volumes of the fun that we had this friday. It was such a bliss. Scores and scores of families were there. Some in the water, some playing with the kids, some without families,  were just roaming around aimlessly.  Probably remembering their families and hoping they were here to share the moment with them.

One thing I never understand about some particular arab states of the middle east is their need to always carry the foldable chairs and plonk themselves and their shishas to enjoy any scene. But the good thing about the locals and the GCC folks is that they would carry their beautiful carpets with them and gladly spread it over the sand and enjoy their macrona meals over it. Different people different likes.

When we were a young Indian family living the dream in Kuwait back in the 70s. We carried everything from tea flasks, to soap with us in our tiny japanese cars. I suppose thats where I get it from. I too have my Yukon  stacked up with spare blankets, sheets, pillows, jackets, water and what have you ~ at any given time.   So much has changed, we have achieved so much in terms of progress but quite a bit is lost too. Amongst one of those things is that we have lost interdependence. We are more nuclear now, we prefer to move around as a single family as opposed to how we “needed” to move around as a group of families, dining together as “middle class restaurants” ~ far far from the reach of today’s fast food restaurants,  we found joy in sharing the hot homemade tea’s in thermos’s rather than hoping over to any one of the Eppco/Enoc fuel stations to grab a costa with some fuel ! All cars ran religiously behind one another and if one had a pit stop for the kids to answer the call of nature., everyone would wait coz there were no mobiles to communicate, remember !  And there were no bathrooms either 🙂

 For the older folks, it must be quite a change and they must never end with lines like,” back in our days . . . . . .  .”

 I am fine with whatever, I dont miss much, I am happy as long as “WE” are happy and having fun. To be very honest, I think life is so much more convenient now compared to then when mom used to spend half the night preparing for the picnic and a large part of the early morning packing everything.  It must’ave been so stressful but the women folk would do it ~ they’d do it for the family. If anyone has seen the movie “NAMESAKE” He understands what I mean and if you have not seen this movie, then grab a copy of the dvd at the earliest.

I broke the spell and absolutely enjoyed running, collecting shells, making a complete utter mess in the mud fight, making sand angels and just generally swimming around freely in the beautiful beach. 

By the time, the boys were ready to leave, it was nearly dusk and what a spectacular view we got, on one end, stood the gorgeous Burj Al Arab, and behind us was the magnificient Burj Khalifa. The shots, I got, are nothing short of amazing.

Back to school comes with a package …

Back to school has become a trendsetter. It actually means, get ready armed with new, stationery, books, uniforms, shoes, school bag, pencil case, lunch bag/carrier and probably a couple of other things which I hav’nt been indulging in.   Probably more than my boys, I enjoy the whole thing about “Back to school”. Although it reminds me of how it used to be when we were kids and appreciated the new school bag which would actually live for that entire 10 months period or the shoes that we would so carefully polish for the first month or so.  But even without the memories, I completly enjoy the process of filling up the kids bags with goodies (as I call them) 

And now that school has commenced in full swing, one of the jobs that keeps me busy for a good couple of hours in the night is and which incidently also reminds me of how my dad used to sit over the short weekend we had, ” back in those days” : covering/laminating books !

Strange how you can love playing with paper, scissor and glue and yet when you have to cover books which by the way is a very lame way to do books, can be so exhausting and back breaking. I know scores of parents all over the globe are involved in doing so but I wonder what they must feel, when I, atleast enjoy part of the process, being into alter art and all that.

Here’s a pic of some of the heaps of books being and having to be covered. Sitting on Eman’s desk in the study room.

A Mess on Eman's desk

    In fact, I think this just gave me an idea, I think I should actually make a tutorial of how to cover books for all those first time moms and dads !!

Back to school in Dubai 2010

One never knows what to expect but if we place our trust in the Almighty, then you know that you are in safe hands. 6 month back. we were totally uncertain of where we stood; no clue as to what was in store even remotely and yet, our belief and faith paid off. The kids started school this monday. It was a day of apprehension and anxiety.

Buddy and sawaabi were going to use the bus the first time in 8years. I was a bunch of nerves constantly reminding myself that they would be ok ! Its strange how I generally underestimate my boys ! Well, my main concern is how sawaabi loves to go back and forth even before he climbs onto the bus. He is one restless soul !

The morning started around 5:30 and atmosphere in the house was like that it had been hit by a hurricane …. We were rushing the kids thru the morning routine of brush, bath, dress, breakfast, shoes and bags. Although it seems simple but ask any parent and you know exactly what goes into that morning rush hour. So anyways, now we have Buddy and sawaab leaving at 6:30 followed by Eman leaving at 7:00 with Abba. And then, I have the entire 4 hours to hybernate !

Heres just a couple of pics of the morning :

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The Special Mother.

I found this poem on a fellow bloggers site. It was posted there because she is a mother who knows the pain.   I hope it touches you as it touched me

The Special Mother
by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressure and a couple by habit.

This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how these mothers are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.


As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.


“Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia.”


“Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint…give her Gerard. He’s used to profanity.”

Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.”

Finally he passes a name to an angel and smiles.

“Give her a handicapped child.”


The angel is curious. “Why this one, God? She’s so happy.”


“Exactly,” smiles God.


“But does she have the patience?” asks the angel.


“I don’t want her to have too much patience, or she’ll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off she’ll handle it.”


“I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I’m going to give her has a world of it’s own. She has to make it live in her world, and that’s not going to be easy.”


“But Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you.”


The angel gasps, “Selfishness? Is that a virtue?”

She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life
because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side.”

“And what about her Patron Saint?” asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.

Could I give a handicapped child a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel.”

God smiles.

“No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.”

God nods.

“If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn’t know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word.
She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see–ignorance, cruelty, prejudice–and allow her to rise above them.

God smiles.

“A mirror will suffice.”

Something to smile about .. .. .. ..

Rather than let the doom and gloom bring you down, focus on the positive.  Life’s simple pleasures which we take for granted.  Little things like .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

  • finding forgotten money in a pocket
  • the joy of free refills at a restaurants
  • being able to fix a faulty electronic equipment with a smack.
  • When u stay somewhere with a really good shower
  • When your pet notices your in a bad mood and comes to see you
  • when a friend returns something borrowed so long ago you forgot you owned it
  • when you push the button for the elevator and its already there
  • getting something handwritten in the mail
  • packing a picnic and heading off for some outdoor action without paying a dime
  • when you pull up to red light and the guy infront of you nudges up a bit so you can make a right turn.
  • leaving a comment on someones blog
  • getting a comment 

Letter to Mom about My Husband suffering from Cancer.

Being a mother means to forever let your heart live outside your body (within your child).

A child’s hurt is a mother’s trauma. She bears the pain even if it is not apparent on her face.  My mother too is feeling terribly hopeless and helpless with my recent predictament.  Cancer in the family cannot just be an ordeal but a test of faith.  Sam and I look at this phase in our lives as a test of our faith. We are blessed in every way with happiness, comfort and respect. What more can one ask for !

I have found myself consoling more people who react in a very restless way often searching for a reason to blame the matter on someone or something,  when they have been informed about my state ( Human Nature).  I wish there was something better I could tell them all. But I tell them to pray for my husband, his operation and his speedy recovery. 

My faith in Allah has been strong always but perhaps stronger now. I believe the cancer will spare us, it is a way for us to understand and make changes in our lifestyle. We needed a very hard jolt and nothing compares to the word “Cancer”

For the first time, today, Sam went for a walk in the morning after Fajr. If you know Sam, you know that “that” Was an impossible task in his agenda ! But he is making changes. I am making changes. For the last few months, I have switched to packing salads for him for lunch. He has lost weigth although not considerable amount but still, it is a begining.

Last night mom called up for the nth time this week and sounded very lost. Perhaps becoz I finally told her that Sam’s tumor is malignant.  She feels she is already loosing Sam … Indians are people full of opinions .. Some doctor who has not even seen sam’s CT report advised her that the cancer would spread all over so that I should get him over to India to have him operated immediately.

I wrote back to her in the night, explaining briefly how she should remain strong for us.  Without sounding rude, I somehow managed to bring some humor into my letter and let her understand how much I counted on Allah and her spiritual support.

This is my letter to Mom.   

*************************************************************************************************** 

Asak Mom,
 
Hope u read my sms last night and left all your worries in Allah swt’s lap.
 
Although I thought my operation would be like all the others before, I have realized one thing, that I tire easily. It takes alot of effort to get things done now. Even small things like washing dishes, cooking etc. Who knows, maybe it is the effect of the operation. Afterall I am not growing any younger either.
 
Leave all that, here is my latest neck picture. Dont worry about the scar, it is an asthetic glue stitich so that It will sit in line with the crease on my neck. It wont be apparent after some months. Right now I am enjoying pulling out the dead skin from my stitch area … yummy !!!
 
If you compare my before op pic to the one now, you’ll be surprised to notice that the neck area is more swollen now than before the operation. But i think its all only the swelling. It will subside eventually.
 
Mom, Worry is a negative feeling. We should not worry about tomorrow. We should only live happily and completly today. Today is what matters, tomorrow has already been decided by fate. So a well-lived today will make all the difference in Life.  
 

“Allaah burdens not a person beyond his scope” [al-Baqarah 2:286]

 
Allah swt does not give anyone of us, more weight than what we can carry. And He has chosen me to carry a slightly larger weight right now and what matters right now is what this quote says :
 

It’s not the load that breaks you down; it’s the way you carry it. Lena Horne

 
I am grateful to Allah Swt for all the blessings he bestowed upon me for all these years. I have a wonderful husband, 3 fantastic boys, a good home and happiness and respect all around me. If the road ahead is going to be bumpy, I should not forget how smooth the road has been so far.  Remember FootPrints ?? I know if the road is going to be bumpy, Allah swt will carry me IN HIS ARMS Thru it. Thats my aqeedah. He is with me, Sam and our boys. Inshallah, everything will be alright. Its just a stepping stone not a boulder in the path.      
 
Keep your spirit strong, it hurts to hear you cry on the phone and it does break me down too. So keep your spirit high. I know its difficult for you coz you are my mother and I know, everyday, I thank Allah swt that this is all happening to us and not to anyone of my boys, becoz then I would NEVER be able to tolerate it.
So it must be hard on you too. But Prayers are the best healers. A mothers’ prayer is a powerful tool. Use it wisely for Sam.
 
Thanks for reading my mail.
 
Love 

sam with our boys just before I was getting discharged from American Hospital after my surgery for Tumor. The boys decided they wanted to enjoy the feel of an automatic bed while watching TV.

Naush 

Surviving Cancer.

Last November, we visited India to attend my nephew’s marriage. After my marriage ie 12 years, We were going to see “ALL”  my relatives.  In between all the fun and frolic, I could sense how fortunate we were to be so happily in love.  Sam and I were the talk of town. Plump and made for each other !!

Came back and posted some of the marriage pics in FB where a huge number of my friends, family and relatives hang out. Perhaps it was a mistake that I posted that pic but I know now that If it was a mistake, It is one, I have to live with for the rest of my life.

Sam has had high blood pressure for the last 7 months. He has been taking medication to keep it on an average scale. On one visit to American Hospital Dubai early February for a repeat medication,  the doctor suggested an MRI of the renal artery. If you know sam,  you know that sam, immediately decides that doctors love to mint money with a huge bunch of tests .. so inspite of all his whinning. He had the MRI done. What followed was to change our lives forever.

The renal artery seemed fine but his right kidney has a tumor about 10 cm large !! After several sonographies, xrays, and CT scan’s the doctors explained how serious his state is but ( hate that word *BUT*) The only solution to the tumor is removal of the entire kidney.  This is a very critical operation with a very high risk rate, therefore American Hospital Dubai has refused this operation. However they have advised that we take Sam’s case to any Kidney specialist Center where there would be a team of doctors to carry out the operation. Sam has never been operated upon. Naturally he is curious and anxious. His left kidney has a mild stenoces.  Although the cancer has not spread out of the kidney, they can see some signs of it in his lungs !!

Ofcourse our initial reaction was that of disbelief. He is healthy, if anything, overweight. Never complains about sickness.  It took sometime for this harsh reality to seep in. For the first week or so, I kept hoping that there was an error in the report or then just kept searching for the silver lining.  Sam has been spending alot of time with the boys. It is difficult to think of my world without Sam. He is that orbit around which I revolve. He is one of the nicest people I know of.  I am so dependent on him. One of the first thoughts that ran thru my mind was ” what will happen to me ?” Silly why I lost hope so early in our battle. … then gradually I composed myself. I am a hardcore optimist, so it dawns late but it does dawn for sure. There is always a silver lining. Our love story is not going to end here. We have to have many more years of bliss and joys. We are going to grow old together. We will see our sons getting married. I will sit and watch all the videos and photos that we have shot of the boys’ childhood in our retirement with Sam and we will have a blast recalling all the incidences. Sam is not going to leave me and I am not going to let Sam leave me. Not now, Not like this.  I will fight for him. I will keep fighting for him. I will beg Allah swt for my samie. I will beg him to spare his life.

In the heart of the matter we all know, that we are visitors in this world and have a larger home to return to in the here after and no matter how much we feel we are preparing for it, we are really not at all prepared.

It seems difficult to be practical at such times, but its like we shift the gears of our motors to act accordingly. 

We have been struggling with decisions …. if we should have this operation done here in Dubai or should we take him to India  … ( just as everybody has been advising us ) how would the logistics of all this work ???  We Indians are very emotional and get into “Panic” mode very easily. Although we managed to keep it in wraps for a month … when we did disclose it to our near and dear family members, all hell broke looose.  Too many opinions, too many judgements, too much chaos,  just too much panic to handle.

Sam has been one of the best gifts Allah swt has blessed me with.  The mere thought of loosing him makes me feel week in the knees. He is too precious, too nice,  too dear,  too loving,  ……..  too mine. I would do anything to keep him alive.

And yet I find myself at Allah’s mercy, begging him for help as I would for any ailment for my family. The Almighty has been so generous to us … so forgiving and so merciful, I have complete faith that a solution will follow.

One line I have always believed for as long as I can remember is : ”  If Allah can get you to it, He can get you through it.”

For all those of you reading this, please pray for my samie.  He is truly a special individual. There is no one who passes by him that is not touched by his compassion and generosity.  Please keep my samie in your prayers.

When Love Fades .. .. ..

Last night I was sitting on the sofa watching TV when I heard my wife’s’ voice from the kitchen.

“What would you like for dinner my Love?  Chicken,  beef or lamb?”

I said, “Thank you, I’ll have chicken.”

She replied “You’re having soup, asshole. I was talking to the cat!”

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

 

A man was in his death bed and called his wife. With a weak voice he said:

– Honey, come closer, I need to…, confess something!

-No, no!!, answered the woman, relax and keep quiet. You should make no efforts…

– But I need to die in peace! I must confess!

– Alright. 

– The thing is, I went out… with your sister… your mother…, and even your best friend!

– I know, I know. Now be quiet and let the poison work.

 

x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

When her friends hired a stripper for her birthday,commediant Mary Pfeiffer realised how much she had changed. The guy started taking his clothes off and asked:

– What are you thinking, love?

– That I’ve been married for too long, because the first thing that came to my mind was “You’re going to get these clothes off the floor won’t you?”

 

Pointers for living life to its fullest…

At a time when my family is undergoing alot of changes and a whole lot of trama, my cousin in canada, who was unaware of my state of affairs, sent me this mail. It is simple and full of wisdom. Its strange how sometimes, when your in a particular situation, a particular quote fits your situation exactly and you can relate so rightly to it. In this particular incident every quote for probably written for me !!!

 Take a 10 – 30 minute walk every day and while you walk, SMILE

 ·          Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day

·          When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement….

o         My purpose is to _______________ today.

·          Live with the 3 E’s: Energy , Enthusiasm and Empathy

o       And the 3 F’s: Faith, Family and Friends

·          Spend more time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6

·          Dream more while you are awake

·          Try to make at least 3 people smile each day

·          Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn, pass all the tests, problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class, but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

·          Smile and laugh more, it will keep the energy vampires away.

  • Life isn’t fair, but it is still good.

 ·          Life is to short to waste time hating anyone.

·          Don’t take yourself so seriously.  No one else does.

·          You don’t have to win every argument.  Agree to disagree.

·          Make peace with your past, so it won’t mess the present.

·          Don’t compare your life with others, you have no idea what their journey is all about.

·          Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, don’t save it for a special occasion, today is special.

·          No one is in charge of your happiness except you.  Forgive everyone for everything.

·          What other people think of you is none of your business.

·          Time heals everything.  Give time, time.

·          However good or bad a situation is, it will change.  Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick.  Your friends will stay in touch.

·          Get rid of everything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

·          Believe. The best is yet to come.

·          No matter how you feel, get up, dress up, and show up.

·          Do the right thing.

·          Call your family often.

·          Each night before you go to bed, complete the following statement….

o         I am thankful for……

o         Today I accomplished……

·          Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.

·          Enjoy the ride.  Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly don’t want to fast pass.  Make the most of it and enjoy the ride!

An incredible pregnancy & birth story-part-1

march 2002

I think the  toughtest trial that I had in our marriage was when I was carrying Eman five months.  I was diagnosed with a complication termed Placenta Previa.  Its the worst situation a pregnant mother can be in.  I had Bilal who was just 3yrs old,  Sawaab was barely 5-6 months old and already I had been admitted twice to the hospital due to excessive bleeding.

Bilal attended Nursery school in Mankool and we managed to keep Sawaab at Matilda’s house at Gold souk for the day. She obligded because she knew we had a difficult condition at our hands but … I was restless,  in agony. My precious little baby of 5 months was left at the mercy of someone we barely knew but surely trusted,  strange how that sounds !!

I remember while I was in the hospital, I worried and worried about Sawaab and Bilal endlessly. I was prescribed complete bed rest and occasionally when I’d stroll past the ward and briefly meet the other patients.  It would be a ritual to ask the new comer why they were there and what was wrong.  I met a pakistani female who had very high blood sugar and had lost a previous baby who was a still birth. These are times that we realize that the world is also full of couples who cant conceive inspite of their best efforts and treatment. This girl religiously followed her diet and probably had a sugar count more accurately monitored by herself than the nurses.

 Compared to her, I was a wreck. I’ve always been a junk food freak and never really concerned too much with my appearance or what that food did when processed inside me. Her heart fell off when I told her my medical condition and she quized why I was so bothered about the children at home and not at all worried about the life inside me. I remember telling her very promptly that the children outside were my responsibiity becos Allah swt had already got them in this world thru me, but the one inside was Allah swt’s problem.  If “HE’ willed, my feotus would survive and if it was in my best interest, he would’nt. My faith amazed her. At that point, it wasn’t really my faith, thinking back, I feel it was simply a maternal instinct  to be with her young ones.

 That time, was a time, I also understood, where my relatives and friends stood and what their limitations were. It took me many years to forgive them and perhaps one day, I might even forget it. But for now, it is still fresh.

Sam used to visit me briefly becoz he used to keep both my little precious darlings waiting ‘alone’ at the entrance of the hospital with only the security guard who would casually look after them.  He had made it very clear that babysitting was not his responsiblitiy which I completely agree with.

I urged the doctors to release me but they were very adamant that it would be a suicidal mission to let me go. I persisted but in vain.  The doctors know best and they knew that in my condition, resting was the best precaution. the damage was already done and all they could do was to keep me going till the baby was ready to come…. but I did’nt realize that … or perhaps I was in denial.  The idea was to keep me in the hospital till the baby arrived …. for 3 onths in the hospital !!!!! I missed the boys so much. I felt quilty. I felt anguish. I felt some how I was being punished. And most of all I felt helpless. I was caged and all those whom I cared for the most were suffering becoz of me. 

Finally the last straw, on the 5th day, early morning, sam arrived in the morning and as much as he did’nt want to tell me, he said that Sawaab was very sick .. I must have been sitting on hot lava. I protested with the doctors that I needed release.  The senior consultant came for round in the afternoon and when I told him my end of the story, although he was compassionate, and tried his best to convince me, then persuade me to stay back, finally he gave in but not before knocking some fear and sense in my head. He told me with a stern face in a voice I’ll never forget

” If we let you go now, the next time ONLY your body will be coming back to us”

I remember feeling some amount of realization for the first time. He was serious ~ My condition was serious although I walked and talked and felt absolutely no pain.  My uterus was a time bomb. I had a previous scar  in my uterus and my placenta was edging it.  Only when we have fever, we seek medication. If we have a headache or some body part ache, a paracetemol, tylenol or panadol is all we look out for.  When we hear ‘Cancer’ we are terrified and seek urgent attention. My doctor had tried to convince me that I was making a mistake but I was a determined mother who had immense faith in Allah. No physician came before that faith, but the physician came after the faith.

I was asked to sign a form which stated clearly that my situation was explained and clarified and in the event that if anything should happen to me, the health officials would not be held responsible. Little did I know …. I was signing my suicide note……