Learning Alphabets in Nursery Schools

Continuing in the last post’s theme is another way, our newer generation will be learning the letters/alphabets in a rather keyboard oriented route.

Here’s a glimpse :-

A:   APPLE

B:   BLUETOOTH 
     
C:   CHAT

D:  DOWNLOAD

E:  E  MAIL 
   
F:   FACEBOOK

G:   GOOGLE

H:  HEWLETT  PACKARD

I:      iPHONE

J:   JAVA

K:   KINGSTON

L:    LAPTOP

M:   MESSENGER

N:   NERO

O:   ORKUT

P:   PICASSA

Q:  QUICK  H EAL

R:   RAM

S:   SERVER

T:   TWITTER

U:   USB

V:   VISTA

W:   WiFi

X:    Xp

Y:  YOU  TUBE

Z:   ZORPIA

Thank God …. A is still Apple

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Child Marriage !!

 

Observe the expression on the girl's face sitting on the right ! Priceless :)

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street.  

The father, being modern and well-schooled in  handling children, hid his smile behind his hand.    
   ‘That’s a serious step,’ he said.      

‘Have you thought it out completely?’  

‘Yes,’ his young son answered.  

‘We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers.  It’s right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark.’                

‘How about transportation?’ the father asked.
 ‘I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles,’   the little boy answered.

                
The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.                

       Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, ‘What about babies?  When you’re married,  you’re liable to have babies, you know.’

‘We’ve thought about that, too,’  
the little boy replied.  
             
         ‘We’re not going to have babies.                
Every time she lays an egg,

I’m going to step on it!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxo
 
        NOW THAT’S BIRTH CONTROL-!        

Coffee cups and life !!

A group of college alumni, well-established in their careers, began talking at a reunion about the impact that a professor of theirs had made on each of their lives.  They decided to go visit their old professor, who was
now retired. During their visit their conversation turned into complaining about the stress in their work and lives.
Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups – porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite – telling
them to help themselves to the coffee.
When all the alumni had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said,
“Notice that each of you took one of the nicer-looking cups. You didn’t take any of the plain ones. While it is normal for you to want the best for yourselves, that has become the source of your problems and stress. The cup
itself adds nothing to the quality to the coffee. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups…and then you began eyeing each other’s cups.
 You compared the quality of your cup with the quality of a friend’s cup.”

The professor continued, “Now consider this: Life is the coffee; your job, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life. The style one cup has, does not define or change the
quality of life an individual lives. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us. The happiest people  don’t have the best of everything.
They just make the best of everything.”
Enjoy your coffee!  

Live simply. Love generously.  Care deeply. Speak

kindly.

Should Kids witness childbirth ? A True Story .. ..

It was late at night and Heidi, who was expecting her second child, was home alone with her 3-year old daughter Katelyn. When Heidi started going into labor, she called “911”.

Due to a power outage at the time, only one paramedic responded to the call. The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Katelyn to hold a flashlight high over her mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby.
Very diligently, Katelyn did as she was asked.

Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry. The paramedic then thanked Katelyn for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.

Katelyn quickly responded, “He shouldn’t have crawled in there in the first place. Smack him again!”

THE OBSTACLE IN OUR PATH

In ancient times, a king had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king’s wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it.

 Many loudly blamed the king for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the big stone out of the way. Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. On approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. As the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the king indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many others never understand.
             Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve one’s condition.

 

Lawyers.

A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural Saskatchewan. (Trust me, it’s a real name of a province in Canada.)

He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer’s field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing.

The litigator responded, “I shot a duck and it fell in this field, and now I’m going to retrieve it.”

The old farmer replied, “This is my property, and you are not coming over here.”

The indignant lawyer said, “I am one of the best trial attorneys in Canada and, if you don’t let me get that duck, I’ll sue you and take everything you own.

The old farmer smiled and said, “Apparently, you don’t know how we settle disputes in Saskatchewan. We settle small disagreements like this, with the Saskatchewan Three Kick Rule.”

The lawyer asked, “What is the Saskatchewan Three Kick Rule?”

The Farmer replied, “Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, first I kick you three times and then you kick me three times and so on back and forth until someone gives up.”

The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest and decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom.

The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor and walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer’s groin and dropped him to his knees. His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer’s last meal gushing from his mouth. The barrister was on all fours when the farmer’s third kick to his rear end sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie.

The lawyer summoned every bit of his will and managed to get to his feet.

Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, “Okay, you old coot. Now it’s my turn.”

[I love this part ….]

The old farmer smiled and said, “Naw, I give up. You can have the duck.”

women !!

  How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?

 Woman’s Answer:

 One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY?

 Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don’t even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!!

 They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn’t be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they’ve been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS!

 But if they did, by some miracle, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!!

 IT’S A WONDER WE HAVEN’T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE!

 AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !!

 I’m sorry. What was the question?

 

Yeah that sounds exactly like me !!! and here’s another one :   Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this one!

Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots?

He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn’t want to go on. Finally, when the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, “Teacher, they’re on the wrong feet.”

 She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn’t any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on – this time on the right feet.

 He then announced, “These aren’t my boots.”

 She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, “Why didn’t you say so?” like she wanted to. And, once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet.

 No sooner they got the boots off and he said, “They’re my brother’s boots. My Mom made me wear ’em.”

 Now she didn’t know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

 Helping him into his coat, she asked, “Now, where are your mittens?”

He said, “I stuffed ’em in the toes of my boots.”