60 WAYS TO KEEP THE LOVE OF YOUR WIFE. GAURANTEED!

1.Make her feel secure; (sakina- tranquillity) QUIT BEING AGGRESSIVE

2. When you go home say ‘Assalmualikum.’ It kicks the shaitaan out of your home!

3. Prophet (saw) described the wife as a fragile vessel and said to take care of this vessel that’s fragile. Remember that there is goodness in this vessel so treat it gently.

4. When you advise her, do so in privacy, in a peaceful environment. NOT IN PUBLIC as it’s a type of slandering.

5. Be generous to your wife- it keeps her LOVED

6. Move and let her have your seat. It will warm her heart.

7. AVIOD ANGER. HOW? Keep your wudu at all times. Prophet (saw) said if your angry, sit down, if you’re sitting, then lie down. Follow the sunnah!

8. Look good and smell great for your wife. IT keeps the LOVE!

9. Don’t be rigid. It will break you. Prophet (saw) said ‘I am the best amongst you and I am the best to my wife’. Being rigid and harsh will not bring you close to Allah and neither does it make you more of a man.

10. Listen to your wife-BE a GOOD LISTENER

11. YES to flattering NO to arguing. Arguing is like poison in a marriage. Al zawai said ‘When Allah (swt) wants evil for people He will leave them to argue amongst themselves’.

12. Prophet (saw) said to call your wives with the best name, any name she loves to hear. Prophet (saw) called Aisha ‘ya Aish’ as an endearment.

13. Give her a pleasant surprise. I.e. if she loves watermelon, bring her one out of the blue. It will grow the love in her heart.

14. Preserve your tongue! Prophet (saw) said the tongue will throw people in the hell fire so watch what you say and how you say it!

15. All of us have shortcoming. Accept her shortcoming and Allah (swt) will put barakh in your marriage.

16. TELL her you appreciate her. SHOW her you appreciate her.

17. Encourage her to keep good relation with her relative, her mum and dad etc.

18. Speak with her with a topic of HER interest.

19. In front of her relative praise her. Confirm/ realise that she is wonderful, and that she is a good person in front of her family.

20. Give each other gifts. You will love each other more. Prophet (saw) said gifts increases love.

 21. Get rid of the routine once in a while, surprise her with something, it will get rid of the rust and polish it!

22. Husnul zaan- We have a demand from Allah (swt) that we have to think good of people. Think good of your spouse.

23. Ignore some of her mistakes- pretend you did not see/hear some of her small mistakes. It was a practise of Ali (RA). It’s like putting a hole in your memory. Don’t save it in your memory!

24. Increase the drops of patience, especially when she is pregnant or when she is on her monthly period.

25. Expect and respect her jealousy. Even Aisha (ra) used to get jealous.

26. Be humble. If your profession is good, respect that she is looking after your children, she is much more than you, she is the leader at home, her strength is your strength, and her success is your successes.

27. Don’t put your friends above your wife.

28. Help your wife at home. Prophet (saw) used to help his wives at home and he was the best of creation. He used to sew his own clothes.

29. Help her respect your parents, you can’t force her to love them, but she can be helped to gradually love them.

30. Show your wife she is the ideal wife.

31. Remember your wife in your duaas. It will increase the love and protect it.

32. Leave the past. It brings nothing but pain and grief. It’s not your business. The past is for Allah (swt).

33. Don’t try to show her that you are doing her a favour by doing something, like buying food for the house, because in reality we are the courier of sustenance, not the providers, as Allah is the provider. It’s also a way of being humble and thankful to Allah (swt)

34. Shaitaan is your enemy, not your wife. Sometime when husband and wife are talking a fight breaks out, then shaitaan is present there as a third person so he is the real enemy. It is not enough to hate the shaitaan, but you have to see him as an enemy as Allah has commanded. Shaitaan loves divorce. HE comes everyday and sits office and asks the devils what they have done, some say i have made a person steal, or i have made someone drink etc. And one devil will say i have made a man divorce his wife, and he is crowned as the one who has done the best job.

35. Take the food and put it in her mouth. Prophet (saw) taught us this. It’s a blessing. The food doesn’t just go to her stomach, but straight to her heart. It increases the love and mercy between you.

36. Protect your wife from the evil of the shaitaan and mankind. She is like a precious pearl that needs protecting from the envy of human devils and shitaan.

37. Show her your smile. Smile at your wife. IT’S A CHARITY.

38. Small problems/ challenges can become a big problem. Or if there is small thing she didn’t like and you keep repeating them anyway, it will create a wall between you. Don’t ignore them as it can become big.

39. Avoid being harsh hearted and moody. Allah said of prophet (saw) ‘if you were harsh hearted they (the companions) would have left you.’ It confirms prophet (saw) was not harsh hearted, so GET RID OF IT.

40. Respect her thinking. It’s strength for you. Show you like her thoughts and suggestions.

41. Help her to achieve her potential and help her to dig and find success within as her success is your success.

42. Respect the intimate relationship and its boundaries. Prophet (saw) said she is like a fragile vessel and she needs to be treated tenderly. Sometime she may not be feeling well; you must respect and appreciate that feeling.

43. Help her to take care of the children. Some men think it makes them appear less of a man but in fact it makes you appear a bigger man and more respected, especially in the sight of Allah (swt).

44. Use the gifts of the tongue and sweet talk her. Tell her she looks great, be an artist. Pick and choose gifts of the tongue.

45. Sit down and eat with her and share food with her.

46. Let her know you are travelling. Don’t tell her out of the blue as it’s against Islam. Tell her the date/ time of when you are coming back also.

47. Don’t leave the house as soon as trouble brews.

48. The house has privacy and secrecy. Once you take this privacy and secrecy to your friends and family you are in danger of putting a serious hole in your marriage. This secrecy stays home. Islam is against leaving them out like a garage sale for anyone to come and pick and choose.

49. Encourage each other for ibadah, i.e. plan a trip for hajj or umrah together. It increases and strengthens the love when you help each other perform a good deeds together i.e, do tahajuud together,or go to a dars together etc.

50. Know her rights, not only written in paper but engraved in your heart and engraved in your conscious.

51. Allah( swt) said ‘live with your wives in kindness.’ Treat them with kindness and goodness. It means in happy times and in sadness treat her with goodness and fairness.

52. Prophet (saw) showed that there is a messenger at the time of intimacy which is foreplay. Don’t jump on your wife like an animal!

53. When you have a dispute with your wife don’t tell everyone. It’s like leaving your wounds open to germs so be careful who you share your problems and disputes with.

54. Show your wife you really care for her health. Good health of your wife is your good health. To care for her health shows her that you love her.

55. Don’t think you are always right. No matter how good you are you have shortcomings. You are not perfect as the only one who was perfect in character was prophet (saw). Get rid of this disease.

56. Share your problems, your happiness, and your sadness with her.

57. Have mercy on her weakness. Have mercy when she is weak or strong as she is the fragile vessel. Prophet (saw) said that your wife is a trust in your hand.

58. Remember you are her strength, someone to lean on in times of hardship.

59. Accept her as she is. Prophet (saw) said that women are created from the rib which is bent. If you try to straighten her you will break her (divorce). Prophet (saw) said that you may dislike one habit in her but you will like another manner in her so accept her as she is.

60. Have good intention for your wife all the time, Allah monitors your intention and your heart at all times. Allah (s.w.t) said Among His Signs is that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect. May Allah (swt) fill your homes and heart with tranquillity, love and Mercy. AMEEN

Dear Friends, this mail does stand true with many or all its tips, however I cannot vouch that it has been compilled by any authentic muslim scholar  Please use your own common sense just like I felt that almost all the tips seems very logical and thus I have posted them here. Being tolerant to ones spouse and making consessions on her account would save one too many marriages.  

Advertisements

Treat it like a wake up call !

I woke up suddenly one night and saw a strange light in my room …. The problem is that the lights are off I saw the clock, it was 3.30 in the morning Okay…so where is all this light coming from?? ———- I turned around and saw something very strange.. My body was half way through the wall (??!) I immediately pulled it out and sat down to see if i’m okay ….. This is strange… I tried to push onto the wall, but MY ARM GOES THROUGH … I heard a sound I turned to my brother’s bed to see him sleeping I was really scared of what was happening to me…so I tried to wake him up….but… .he doesn’t reply!! I went to my parent’s bedroom..I tried to wake up my mother…and father…I just wanted somebody to react to me… but nobody did.

 I tried to wake my mother up again…she woke up this time… —– she got up … but didn’t communicate to me She was saying “In the name of Allah, most Merciful, most Gracious” (بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم) again and again… She woke my dad up saying ‘get up, man, I want to check up on the kids.’

My dad replied in disinterest .. ‘it’s not time for this, let me sleep and inshAllah tomorrow i’ll get to that’ But she was insisting..so he woke up. I was THERE. I was screaming..’ dad’, ‘mum’ … nobody was replying I held mother’s clothes to grab her attention..but she didn’t recognise my existence I followed her ’till she got to my bedroom They got into the room and turned on the lights… it wasn’t making any difference to me anyway because there was a strong light there. I then saw the strangest thing in my life… my OWN BODY….on my bed.

I was trembling… how can there be two of me??…how can that person look so much like me??…and what is he doing on my bed???? I started hitting/slapping myself to wake up from this nightmare… but it was too real to be a nightmare.

dad said ‘Yalla, see the kids are sleeping. Let’s go back to bed.’ but mother wasn’t at all confident… she went to the person sleeping in my bed and said ‘Khalid, wake up!! … WAKE UP!!’ but he wouldn’t reply. She tried again and again….but no reply. Then i turned to see my dad tearing… Today witnesses the first time in my life that I have seen my dad’s tears. The place was shaking with the screaming … My brother woke up…”What’s going on??!” In a very sad tone, with tears rolling down her cheek, mother replied ‘your brother’s dead! Khalid is DEAD!!’ —— I went to mother and said ‘please mum…don’t cry..I’m right here look at me!’ But nobody’s replying to me..WHY??

 I turned to Allah and asked Him to wake me up from the nightmare! quickly following my dua was a voice saying (Quran): ” You were in negligence from this, so We uncovered the blinds and today your sight is (like iron) ” لقد كنت في غفلة من هذا فكشفنا عنك غطاءك فبصرك اليوم حديد

Suddenly two creatures held my arm..they weren’t human!! “Leave me ALONE! Who are you and what do you want from me??” ‘We’re your grave’s guards’ I said ‘but I’m not dead yet! let go of me!!’ I can still see, hear, touch, and speak..I’m not dead!

They replied with a smile : “You humans are fascinating! You think that by dying your life ends, while in fact life on Earth is a small dream compared to the Here after; a dream that ends at your death.”

 They started pulling me towards my grave… On the way I saw people just like me, each had two guards like mine. Some were smiling, others crying, others screaming. I asked the guards ‘why are they all doing that?’

They replied ‘These people now know their fate…some were in ignorance so they–‘ ‘–so they go to Hell??!’ I interrupted They said ‘yes.’ and continued.. ‘and those laughing are going to Heaven’

I quickly replied: ‘What about me..where will I go??’

They said ‘you were at times a good Muslim, while other times not. One day you obey Allah, the next you disobey Him. And you weren’t clear with yourself and your fate will remain so: lost.’

 I replied, shaking: ‘SO AM I GOING TO HELL??’

They said: ‘ Allah’s mercy is great, and the journey is long ‘

I turned to see my family carrying my dead body in a coffin..so i ran to them .. I said: ‘make dua for me’ but nobody replied..

I went to my brother and warned him .. ‘be careful with what you do in this life… don’t be a fool like myself!’ I was really hoping that he could hear me…

 The two angels (guards) tied up my soul on top of my body .. I saw my relatives pouring sand over me .. —- at that moment I was hoping that I would be in their place… that I can turn to Allah and do as much as He wants from me… that I would ask for forgiveness and once and for all repent my sins that angered Him… but unfortunately I couldn’t.

I shouted ‘ People, don’t let this life tempt you! Wake up to the truth… one day you will DIE, and you never know when..or how. ‘ I hoped for somebody to hear me…nobody there did but YOU heard me….

‘ save yourself. Smile to others, forgive them when you have the power to punish them. Allah forgives those that forgive others. Do your prayers regularly with an open heart. Let Allah guide your life, not Satan. Read the Quran regularly and let the Prophet (peace be upon him) be your role model in life. Work in this timed life for your salvation in an eternal one. And … make dua for me because I’m not perfect. And I point the above to myself just as much as I do to my friends.