Male friends after marriage ?

Tirmidhi 3118:

Whenever a man is alone with a woman the Devil makes a third.

Hadith – Al-Tirmidhi.

Do not call on women in the absence of their husbands, because Shaitan might be circulating in you like blood circulates

Hadith – Fath-al-Qadir

The one who touches the hand of a woman without having a lawful relation with her, will have an ember (hot coal) placed on his palm on the Day of Judgement

If you cannot meet a woman without mahram, shake hands with her, be alone with her,  look at her (since you’re required to lower your gaze)

then how is this friendship going to form?

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As far as friendship on internet is concerned just reason logically about it. Would a husband appreciate that his wife has a ‘close’ male friend besides him? Or would a wife appreciate that when the husband has a argument with her, he goes to his best friend to discuss the matter as opposed to making it up to her?

It leads to comparison between spouse as a friend and the close friend. This can cause problems in their married life. A friend who meets you only sometimes will always meet you with a smile (even on internet) but the spouse is living with you 24/7. There are more chances of conflicts and it requires patience and understanding to survive the relationship.

This can be hard to understand when you can see the other opposite gender being nice to you while your spouse isn’t as sweet most of the time.

Had it been permissible Sahaba’s and Prophets would become friends with women. But at least I do not know of Prophet (P.B.U.H) having female friends or any of the sahaba’s having them or any other scholar of Islam having it. Which makes it obvious it is not allowed in Islam.

 

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Trade in Proposal/Marriage.

Abu Huraira (Allah be pleased with him) reported that Allah’s Messenger (may peace be upon him) prohibited Shighar. Ibn Numair added: Shighar means that a person should say to the other person: Give me the hand of your daughter in marriage and I will (in return) marry my daughter to you; or marry me your sister, and I will marry my sister to you. (Muslim Book 8, Number 3299)

 What an interesting Hadith Masha’Allah 🙂

It has been stated so many times that the Prophet never spoke unnecessarily but when he spoke he was careful in what he said and there was a definete reason to why he said what he said.  Subhanallah. 

Please know that the below is my point of view on this matter and not quoted by any scholar.

I found this concept of trade in marriage unusal but not unheard of, especially in India and Pakistan, where it is still practised although not often. In my point of view, it can become quite a complicated issue before and after the marriage. Therefore best avoided.

For obvious reasons such as if one marriage is not working out they treat the other couple the same …i.e. forced to divorce and the reason will be the other couple did not work out. Even if they are not forced to divorce, imagine how uncomfortable and awkward a wife feels if she sees her sister in law brooding in her household due to the misunderstandings/hardships/incompatibilities caused by her own brother !!!

If the rasool has prohibited this trade in, then so be it. Hope it helps us to wake up and advise our neighbours, relatives and muslim friends that this should not be practised if they are,  due to ignorance. Please advise your near ones.