Internet Abbreviations.

I remember when I was in school, somewhere in 1985-86. We were introduced to computer software in school in the form of a subject. I remember some of my friends opting for Dbase and Lotus.  Those who opted for computers were considered progressive, high tech and really intelligent. Somewhere in 1990, I too enrolled for a course in C language. Not that anything materialized from it ~ I did not even pass the course !!!

Over a period of the next 10 years. Computers really seeped thru every channel of transaction we made. Ofcourse Microsoft was a revolution in itself. The WWW opened the world like nothing before. We knew what Mrs Peng cooked for dinner far away in a tiny province of china or what programe young Steven was watching in a remote village close to Durban. The world seemed to be magically rolled up and fitted into the gazillions of dots and @ in our computer screens. It is still amazing !! And I am reminded about this phenomeon when my young son asks me, how did you find things or do projects before computers ?? Wow, Now THAT was a challenge.  Although it did not seem so then.

This also brings me to the weird and wonderful world of chat rooms, forums, discussion boards etc.  Being a typist, I find typing rather easy and convenient but I can understand how impossibly difficult it must be for those who use two forefingers to get around so many keys. My husband for instance has mastered the keyboard with his two forefingers, amazingly.

Probably becoz of this, people have these really short, abbreviated codes in these forums. It is amusing and amazing, and sometimes, its hard to keeep up with the scores of newly abbreviated terms online. Here are some of them for you. Personally, I dont like it. I prefer simple english to communicate. Probably the only word I generally abbreviate, which has now almost become a signature in my articles is ~ becoz for because and thru for through. I have  been doing so since school and have got into trouble on several occasions for using them. And what do you know now ~ My cousin sister who is a principal in a school, is using some of these codes to communicate !!!!

So when your on facebook or tweeter and come across so really weird looking word which does not make any sense, please turn to this post to make some sense of it !!! Here is a small collection of them :

Oh, SMH means Scratching My Head or Shaking my head.

1. 73: Best Regards
2. AFAIC: As Far As I’m Concerned
3. AYSOS: Are You Stupid or Something?
4. BAC: By Any Chance
5. BBN: Bye Bye Now
6. BRB: Be Right Back
7. CSG Chuckle Snicker Grin
8. DH: (depending on your mood!) Dear Husband ~ Darned Husband ~ Demented Husband
9. DIY: Do It Yourself
10. EOD: End Of Discussion
11. FAQ: Frequently Asked Questions
12. GBTW: Get Back To Work
13. GMTA: Great Minds Think Alike
14. H&K: Hug and Kiss
15. HAGU: Have A Good ‘Un
16. Clapping: Hands And Wetting My Pants
17. IAE: In Any Event
18. IMPE: In My Previous/Personal Experience
19. ISP: Internet Service Provider
20. J/K: Just Kidding
21. L8R: Later
22. LHU: Lord Help Us
23. LOLOL: Laughing Out Loud On Line
24. LY: Love Ya
25. MYOB: Mind Your Own Business
26. nOOb: Newbie
27. PMFJI: Pardon Me For Jumping In
28. PS: Post Script
29. QSO: Conversation
30. ROTFLMAO: Rolling On The Floor Laughing My A** Off
31. ROFLCOPTER: Rolling on Floor Laughing and Spinning Around in Circles
32. SIL: Sister In Law
33. SOHF: Sense Of Humor Failure
34. TANSTAAFL: There Ain’t No Such Thing As A Free Lunch
35. TOS: Terms Of Service
36. TTYL: Talk To You Later
37. VDW: Very Dear Wife
38. WTH: What/Who The Heck (or H**, or sub an ‘F’ for the ‘H’)
39. WYSIWYG: What You See Is What You Get
40. YWIA: You’re Welcome In Advance

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The Janitor Vs The CEO

The Janitor
============

An unemployed man goes to apply for a job with Microsoft as a janitor.

The manager there arranges for him to take an aptitude test (Section: Floors, sweeping and cleaning). 

After the test, the manager says, “You will be employed at minimum wage, $5.15 an hour. Let me have your e-mail address, so that I can send you a form to complete and tell you where to  report for work on your first day.”

Taken aback, the man protests that he has neither a computer nor an e-mail address. To this the MS manager replies, “Well, then, that means that you virtually don’t exist and can therefore hardly expect to be employed.”

Stunned, the man leaves. 

Not knowing where to turn and having only $10 in his wallet, he decides to buy a 25 lb flat of tomatoes at the supermarket. Within less than 2 hours, he sells all the tomatoes individually at 100% profit. Repeating the process several times more that day, he ends up with almost $100 before going to sleep that night. And thus it dawns on him that he could quite easily make a living selling tomatoes. 

Getting up early every day and going to bed late, he multiplies his profits quickly. After a short time he acquires a cart to transport several dozen boxes of tomatoes, only to have to trade it in again so that he can buy a pick-up truck to support his expanding business. 

By the end of the second year, he is the owner of a fleet of pick-up trucks and manages a staff of a hundred former unemployed people, all selling tomatoes.

Planning for the future of his wife and children, he decides to buy some life insurance. Consulting with an insurance adviser, he picks an insurance plan to fit his new circumstances. At the end of the telephone conversation, the adviser asks him for his e-mail address in order to send the final documents 
electronically.

When the man replies that he has no e-mail, the adviser is stunned. “What, you don’t have e-mail? How on earth have you managed to amass such wealth without the Internet, e-mail and e-commerce? 

Just imagine where you would be now, if you had been connected to the internet from the very start!”

After a moment of thought, the tomato millionaire replied, 

“Why, of course! I would be a floor cleaner at Microsoft!”

Author Unknown

Moral of the story:

1. The Internet, e-mail, and e-commerce do not need to rule or determine your life.

2. If you don’t have e-mail, but work hard, you can still become a millionaire.

3. There are much greater connections than the Internet.

4. E-mail addresses are free, and companies are begging you to take one. What does that tell you?

5. Seeing that you got this story via e-mail, are you closer to becoming a janitor than you are to becoming a millionaire? 

If the answer is janitor, then e-mail is obviously not the key to money.

6. If you take what you have, and multiply it each day, not only will you become a millionaire, you will also become a billionaire. That equation works for all things in life.

7. It is far better to be a happy janitor than an unhappy millionaire, but all other things being equal, it is better to be a happy millionaire than a happy janitor. You can help more people.

8. Closed doors are often blocks to the wrong path.

9. Unbeknown to most, the janitor in many corporations, is actually happier and sleeps better than the CEO.

10.It’s really not the job that’s the bottom line to your happiness. 

REALLY!