A medical tip for mothers.

Last 10 days, the boys and I have been absolutely sick to our throats, no literally ! It started with Sawaab and ended with me. Today Dr L, gave me a second course of antibiotics.  I have been wheezing and it hurts like hell when I have this huge spasms of cough which feels like all my chest is pulling and hurting. So back to the nebulizer. Just finished with Augmentine 1gm and now I have started with Klassic. Its really a bad time. As if, the knee and my back ache were not enough !

Please make a small prayer that Allah heals me soon.

Talking of sickness, I wanted to know from the rest of you’ll, which do you think is the most important medical investment do, you think, you made for your kids ? … I mean, I’m not talking about medicines or medical insurance. Maybe something like a thermometer, or a blood pressure machine or a kidney tray or something else.

I think, almost 7 years back, I made the best medical investment I could have thought of at that time. Sawaab is not asthmatic, but he would get these bouts of cold accompanied by wheezing. At one stage, the doctor suggested that if we could, we should buy a nebulizer which would help him with wheezing. With those of you who are wondering “whats wheezing and whats a nebulizer ?

Well, generally phlem which clogs the throat over a period of time, might in some situations land up in the upper respirator tract, and cause breathing difficulty. There is a particular sound almost like a slow whistle which can be heard while the child or adult breaths. It can be accompanied by pain in the chest. Next question: Generally in the olden days, the doctors would have to give a patient oral medicines which when swolled, breaks up in the stomach and then reaches different parts of the body. A bronco syrup would help in dissolving the phelm in the throat. However a nebulizer is an excellent machine used for breathing with a mask. In most cases, Ventolin, is added to the machine and breathed in. The results are instant and phenomenal. However, one should be a little experienced in handling this machine. Why ?

1: becoz we are inhaling directly what ever is in the container of the machine, we have  to be careful with the hygeine issues.

2: the medicine in the machine is going straight to the lung and heart in which case, we have to be careful with the quantity of medicine given, coz it can cause palpitation, in very few cases.

The nebulizer is given “ONLY” when recommended by the doctor. However as a mother, you learn to watch and understand the symptoms of your child over a period of time, and sometimes, When I am confident that it should be given rather than waiting over the weekend, before going to my pediatrician, I would just go ahead and do it.

Hope this little article helps some of you moms out there.

Back to school in Dubai 2010

One never knows what to expect but if we place our trust in the Almighty, then you know that you are in safe hands. 6 month back. we were totally uncertain of where we stood; no clue as to what was in store even remotely and yet, our belief and faith paid off. The kids started school this monday. It was a day of apprehension and anxiety.

Buddy and sawaabi were going to use the bus the first time in 8years. I was a bunch of nerves constantly reminding myself that they would be ok ! Its strange how I generally underestimate my boys ! Well, my main concern is how sawaabi loves to go back and forth even before he climbs onto the bus. He is one restless soul !

The morning started around 5:30 and atmosphere in the house was like that it had been hit by a hurricane …. We were rushing the kids thru the morning routine of brush, bath, dress, breakfast, shoes and bags. Although it seems simple but ask any parent and you know exactly what goes into that morning rush hour. So anyways, now we have Buddy and sawaab leaving at 6:30 followed by Eman leaving at 7:00 with Abba. And then, I have the entire 4 hours to hybernate !

Heres just a couple of pics of the morning :

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The Special Mother

by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice,

a few by social pressure and a couple by habit.


This year nearly 100,000 women will become mothers of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how these mothers are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation.


As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.


“Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia.”


“Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint…give her Gerard. He’s used to profanity.”


Finally he passes a name to an angel and smiles.


“Give her a handicapped child.”


The angel is curious. “Why this one, God? She’s so happy.”


“Exactly,” smiles God.


“But does she have the patience?” asks the angel.


“I don’t want her to have too much patience, or she’ll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off she’ll handle it.”


“I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I’m going to give her has a world of it’s own. She has to make it live in her world, and that’s not going to be easy.”


“But Lord, I don’t think she even believes in you.”


The angel gasps, “Selfishness? Is that a virtue?”

She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life
because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side.”

“Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.”

“Could I give a handicapped child a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel.”

God smiles.

“No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness.”

God nods.

“If she can’t separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn’t know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word.
She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says momma for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see–ignorance, cruelty, prejudice–and allow her to rise above them.

“And what about her Patron Saint?” asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.

God smiles.

“A mirror will suffice.”

Something to smile about .. .. .. ..

Rather than let the doom and gloom bring you down, focus on the positive.  Life’s simple pleasures which we take for granted.  Little things like .. .. .. .. .. .. ..

  • finding forgotten money in a pocket
  • the joy of free refills at a restaurants
  • being able to fix a faulty electronic equipment with a smack.
  • When u stay somewhere with a really good shower
  • When your pet notices your in a bad mood and comes to see you
  • when a friend returns something borrowed so long ago you forgot you owned it
  • when you push the button for the elevator and its already there
  • getting something handwritten in the mail
  • packing a picnic and heading off for some outdoor action without paying a dime
  • when you pull up to red light and the guy infront of you nudges up a bit so you can make a right turn.
  • leaving a comment on someones blog
  • getting a comment 

Letter to Mom about My Husband suffering from Cancer.

Being a mother means to forever let your heart live outside your body (within your child).

A child’s hurt is a mother’s trauma. She bears the pain even if it is not apparent on her face.  My mother too is feeling terribly hopeless and helpless with my recent predictament.  Cancer in the family cannot just be an ordeal but a test of faith.  Sam and I look at this phase in our lives as a test of our faith. We are blessed in every way with happiness, comfort and respect. What more can one ask for !

I have found myself consoling more people who react in a very restless way often searching for a reason to blame the matter on someone or something,  when they have been informed about my state ( Human Nature).  I wish there was something better I could tell them all. But I tell them to pray for my husband, his operation and his speedy recovery. 

My faith in Allah has been strong always but perhaps stronger now. I believe the cancer will spare us, it is a way for us to understand and make changes in our lifestyle. We needed a very hard jolt and nothing compares to the word “Cancer”

For the first time, today, Sam went for a walk in the morning after Fajr. If you know Sam, you know that “that” Was an impossible task in his agenda ! But he is making changes. I am making changes. For the last few months, I have switched to packing salads for him for lunch. He has lost weigth although not considerable amount but still, it is a begining.

Last night mom called up for the nth time this week and sounded very lost. Perhaps becoz I finally told her that Sam’s tumor is malignant.  She feels she is already loosing Sam … Indians are people full of opinions .. Some doctor who has not even seen sam’s CT report advised her that the cancer would spread all over so that I should get him over to India to have him operated immediately.

I wrote back to her in the night, explaining briefly how she should remain strong for us.  Without sounding rude, I somehow managed to bring some humor into my letter and let her understand how much I counted on Allah and her spiritual support.

This is my letter to Mom.   

*************************************************************************************************** 

Asak Mom,
 
Hope u read my sms last night and left all your worries in Allah swt’s lap.
 
Although I thought my operation would be like all the others before, I have realized one thing, that I tire easily. It takes alot of effort to get things done now. Even small things like washing dishes, cooking etc. Who knows, maybe it is the effect of the operation. Afterall I am not growing any younger either.
 
Leave all that, here is my latest neck picture. Dont worry about the scar, it is an asthetic glue stitich so that It will sit in line with the crease on my neck. It wont be apparent after some months. Right now I am enjoying pulling out the dead skin from my stitch area … yummy !!!
 
If you compare my before op pic to the one now, you’ll be surprised to notice that the neck area is more swollen now than before the operation. But i think its all only the swelling. It will subside eventually.
 
Mom, Worry is a negative feeling. We should not worry about tomorrow. We should only live happily and completly today. Today is what matters, tomorrow has already been decided by fate. So a well-lived today will make all the difference in Life.  
 

“Allaah burdens not a person beyond his scope” [al-Baqarah 2:286]

 
Allah swt does not give anyone of us, more weight than what we can carry. And He has chosen me to carry a slightly larger weight right now and what matters right now is what this quote says :
 

It’s not the load that breaks you down; it’s the way you carry it. Lena Horne

 
I am grateful to Allah Swt for all the blessings he bestowed upon me for all these years. I have a wonderful husband, 3 fantastic boys, a good home and happiness and respect all around me. If the road ahead is going to be bumpy, I should not forget how smooth the road has been so far.  Remember FootPrints ?? I know if the road is going to be bumpy, Allah swt will carry me IN HIS ARMS Thru it. Thats my aqeedah. He is with me, Sam and our boys. Inshallah, everything will be alright. Its just a stepping stone not a boulder in the path.      
 
Keep your spirit strong, it hurts to hear you cry on the phone and it does break me down too. So keep your spirit high. I know its difficult for you coz you are my mother and I know, everyday, I thank Allah swt that this is all happening to us and not to anyone of my boys, becoz then I would NEVER be able to tolerate it.
So it must be hard on you too. But Prayers are the best healers. A mothers’ prayer is a powerful tool. Use it wisely for Sam.
 
Thanks for reading my mail.
 
Love 

sam with our boys just before I was getting discharged from American Hospital after my surgery for Tumor. The boys decided they wanted to enjoy the feel of an automatic bed while watching TV.

Naush 

Inspirational Moms and Dads ~ carrots, eggs or coffee ?

Last night, I was surfing for some information on a certain something, one thing lead to another and somehow I reached a blog which really touched me.

 God gives us that which he knows we can handle .. .. but reading these stories left me speechless.  Often I have heard, that a marriage can barely make it out intact after death or trauma of a child and yet I am so glad and astonished at how these parents have stood their ground together thru such a tragedy. Remarkable and amazing ! Indeed their faith has kept them together.

I will leave the links in the end for all of you’ll, meanwhile here is a small yet very inspiring story :

An Analogy – A carrot, an egg and a cup of coffee…

You may never look at a cup of coffee the same way again……..A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as though just as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to a boil.

In the first, she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil, without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, “Tell me what you see.”

Carrots, eggs, and coffee,” she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did, and noted that they were soft.

The mother then asked the daughter to take the egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee.

The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma.

The daughter then asked, “What does it mean, mother?”

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

Which are you?” she asked her daughter.

“When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?”

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, … but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and a hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you.

When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity?

Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you’re the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

You might want to send this message to those people who mean something to you;  to those who have touched your life in one way or another; to those who make you smile when you really need it; to those who make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down; to those whose friendship you appreciate; to those who are so meaningful in your life.

It’s easier to build a child than to repair an adult…When Allah swt wishes to test his children’s faith, He usually tests them with Children or wealth. Some how in most  cases, money follows child issues.  Imagine a couple who has two disabled children, or a couple who knows one of his child has already been living on grace period out of very chronic severe disease, the pain anguish and helplessness, is something, I cannot even fathom, let aside feel. Here are the two stories I had mentioned in the begining. Please pray for the children as much for the parents. They need all the prayers.

  http://allaccesspasstojack.blogspot.com/2009/11/god-is-good-even-when-breathing-is.html

http://becca-boo-baby-boo.blogspot.com/

http://busiestmommyinamerica.blogspot.com/

These are no doubt special moms and dads and what makes them special is that inspite of being just like you and me, flesh bones and emotions, they had the choice of accepting defeat in adversity and giving up, yet they kept fighting .. taking each day at a time. Remarkable stories of real life heros ~ moms and dads, just like you and me.

Funny Quotes on : Moms, dads & those kids of their’s

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing.

“There is only one pretty child in the world… and every  mother has it.” –  Chinese Proverb.

Children will soon forget your presents. They will always remember your presence.

The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your kids.

“Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?”

You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can never fool mom.

A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school clothes.

Anyone who says “Easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried it.

The best inheritance parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

Paid in Full ~ The Value of Parents

precious_moment_clipart_fathers_day

A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper, and he handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After his mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it, and this is what it said:

a. For cutting the grass: $5.00
b. For cleaning up my room this week: $1.00
c. For going to the store for you: .50
d. Babysitting my kid brother while you went shopping: .25
e. Taking out the garbage: $1.00
f. For getting a good report card: $5.00
g. For cleaning up and raking the yard: $2.00

Total owed: $14.75

Well, his mother looked at him standing there, the boy could see the memories flashing through her mind. She picked up the pen, turned over the paper he’d written on, and this is what she wrote:

a. For 9 months I carried you while you were growing inside me: No Charge.
b. For all the nights that I’ve sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you: No Charge.
c. For all the trying times, and all the tears that you’ve caused through the years: No Charge.
d. For all the nights that were filled with dread, and for the worries I knew
were ahead: No Charge.
e. For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose: No Charge.

Son, When you add it up, the cost of my love is: No Charge.

When the boy finished reading what his mother had written, there were big tears in his eyes, and he looked straight at his mother and said, “Mum, I sure do love you”.

And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote: “PAID IN FULL”

“Your Lord has decreed that you should worship nothing except Him, and show) kindness to your parents, whether one or both of them attain old age (while they are) still with you, never say to them ‘Shame! nor scold either of them. Speak to them in a generous fashion. Protect them carefully and say: ‘My Lord, show them mercy, just as they cared for me as a little child'” [surah 17:23-24]

A Letter To My Dear Son

This is a beautiful and sad poem written by a mother whos son passed away at a tender age of only 20. I came across it sometime back and felt I needed to share it with you’ll. Its so sad,  

A Letter To My Dear Son
       
The hardest thing I thought I’d ever have to do
was go through labor and give birth to you…
But it wasn’t.

Then I thought…
The hardest thing I’d ever have to do
was to keep you from harm through the toddler years,
teach you right from wrong,
teach you to love others while showing you I loved you…
But it wasn’t.

Then I thought…
The hardest thing I’d ever have to do
was watch you leave me on your first day of school,
worrying about you,
hoping you’d be all right without me by your side,
reassuring you that I loved you…
But it wasn’t.

Then I thought…
The hardest thing I’d ever have to do
was get you through your younger years,
do all the right things for you,
spend enough time with you,
try to be your friend,
discipline you when I needed to,
worry about you and
never let you forget how very much I loved you…
But it wasn’t.

Then I thought…
The hardest thing I’d ever have to do
was watch you grow into a teen-ager,
help you make the right decisions,
trying to protect you, sometimes being tough on you,
while all along always trying to stay a friend to you,
hoping I was doing what I should for you,
worrying about you all the time,
reminding you how much I loved you…
But it wasn’t.

Then I thought…
The hardest thing I’d ever have to do
was watch you grow into a young man,
teaching you how to get along in the world by yourself,
reminding you that you are never really alone and
seeing you leave home to be on your own,
letting you know I’d always be there for you,
making sure you’d always remember how much you’re loved…
But it wasn’t.

I know what it was…
The hardest thing I ever had to do
was open the door to your room,
to have to see your body lying still,
wanting for you to smile at me and knowing you couldn’t,
wanting you to get up and talk to me, and tell me you were O.K.
But it didn’t happen.

The hardest thing I ever had to do was to live without you,
my times with you were over.

The hardest thing I ever had to do was say good-bye to you, my son,
though you were so young, only twenty,
I have so many memories of our times together and
I’ll never forget how much you changed my life,
how much you meant to me and how much I loved you.

Forever and Always,

Mom

A mother knows . .. …

A MOTHER KNOWS

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn’t help noticing how beautiful John’s roommate Julie was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye.

Reading his mom’s thoughts, John volunteered, “I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates.”

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, “Ever since your mother came to dinner, I can’t find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don’t suppose she took it, do you?”

John said, “Well, I doubt it, but I’ll write her a letter, just to be sure.”

So he sat down and wrote:

“Dear Mother,
I’m not saying you ‘did’ take a gravy ladle from my house, and I’m not saying you ‘did not’ take a gravy ladle from my house, but the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Love,
John.”
 

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read:
“Dear Son,
I’m not saying that you ‘do’ sleep with Julie, and I’m not saying that you ‘do not’ sleep with Julie, but the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.

Love,
Mom.”

If I had my child to raise over again

If I had my child to raise over again
I’d build self-esteem first, and the house later.


I’d finger paint more and point fingers less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.

I’d take my eyes off my watch,
and watch with my eyes.

I would care to know less and know to care more
I’d take more hikes and fly more kites.

I’d stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields
and gaze at more stars.

I’d do more hugging and less tugging.
I’d see the oak tree in the acorn more often.

I would be firm less often
and affirm much more.

I’d model less about the love of power,
And more about the power of love.

For Every Mother

F O R     E V E R Y     M O T H E R 

This is for all the mothers who didn’t win Mother of the Year last year.

All the runners-up and all the wannabes. The mothers too tired to enter or too busy to care.

This is for all the mothers who froze their buns off on metal bleachers at soccer games Friday night instead of watching from cars, so that when their kids asked, “Did you see my goal?” they could say, “Of course, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world,” and mean it.

This is for all the mothers who have sat up all night with sick toddlers in their arms, saying, “It’s OK honey, Mommy’s here.”

This is for all the mothers of Kosovo who fled in the night and can’t find their children.  (And the mothers in Iraq whose children died in bombings).

This is for the mothers who gave birth to babies they’ll never see. And the for mothers who took those babies and gave them homes.

For all the mothers of the victims of the Colorado shooting, and the mothers of the murderers. For the mothers of the survivors, and the mothers who sat in front of their TVs in horror, hugging their child who just arrived safely home from school.

For all the mothers who run carpools and make cookies and sew Halloween costumes. And all the mothers who don’t.

What makes a good mother? Is it patience? Compassion? Broad hips? The ability to nurse a baby, cook dinner, and sew a button on a shirt, all at the same time?  Or is it heart?  Is it the ache you feel when you watch your son or daughter disappear down the street, walking to school alone for the very first time? The jolt that takes you from sleep to dread, from bed to crib at 2 a.m. to put your hand on the back of a sleeping baby? The need to flee from wherever you are and hug your child when you hear news of a school shooting, a fire, a car accident, a baby dying? 

This is for all the mothers who sat down with their children and explained all about making babies. And for all the mothers who wanted to but just couldn’t.

This is for reading “Goodnight, Moon” twice a night for a year. And then reading it again, “just one more time.”

This is for all the mothers who aren’t perfect. Who yell at their kids in the grocery store and swat them in despair and stomp their feet like a tired 2-year-old who wants ice cream before dinner.

This is for all the mothers who taught their daughters to tie their shoelaces before they started school. And for all the mothers who opted for Velcro instead.

For all the mothers who bite their lips- sometimes until they bleed- when their 14-year-olds dye their hair green.

This is for all the mothers who lock themselves in the bathroom when babies keep crying and won’t stop.

This is for all the mothers who show up at work with spit-up in their hair and milk stains on their blouses and diapers in their purse.

This is for all the mothers who teach their sons to cook and their daughters to sink a jump shot.

This is for all mothers whose heads turn automatically when a little voice calls “Mom?” in a crowd, even though they know their own offspring are at home.

This is for mothers who put pinwheels and teddy bears- and tears- on their children’s graves.

This is for mothers whose children have gone astray, who can’t find the words to reach them.

This is for all the mothers who sent their sons to school with stomach aches, assuring them they’d be just FINE once they got there,  only to get calls from the school nurse an hour later asking them to please pick them up.  Right away.

This is for young mothers stumbling through diaper changes and sleep deprivation.  And mature mothers learning to let go.  For working mothers and stay-at-home mothers. Single mothers and married mothers. Mothers with money, mothers without.

This is for you all. So hang in there. The world would be a terrible place without the love of mothers everywhere.  You make it a more civil, caring and safe place for the precious children in our world.