An incredible pregnancy & birth story-part-1

march 2002

I think the  toughtest trial that I had in our marriage was when I was carrying Eman five months.  I was diagnosed with a complication termed Placenta Previa.  Its the worst situation a pregnant mother can be in.  I had Bilal who was just 3yrs old,  Sawaab was barely 5-6 months old and already I had been admitted twice to the hospital due to excessive bleeding.

Bilal attended Nursery school in Mankool and we managed to keep Sawaab at Matilda’s house at Gold souk for the day. She obligded because she knew we had a difficult condition at our hands but … I was restless,  in agony. My precious little baby of 5 months was left at the mercy of someone we barely knew but surely trusted,  strange how that sounds !!

I remember while I was in the hospital, I worried and worried about Sawaab and Bilal endlessly. I was prescribed complete bed rest and occasionally when I’d stroll past the ward and briefly meet the other patients.  It would be a ritual to ask the new comer why they were there and what was wrong.  I met a pakistani female who had very high blood sugar and had lost a previous baby who was a still birth. These are times that we realize that the world is also full of couples who cant conceive inspite of their best efforts and treatment. This girl religiously followed her diet and probably had a sugar count more accurately monitored by herself than the nurses.

 Compared to her, I was a wreck. I’ve always been a junk food freak and never really concerned too much with my appearance or what that food did when processed inside me. Her heart fell off when I told her my medical condition and she quized why I was so bothered about the children at home and not at all worried about the life inside me. I remember telling her very promptly that the children outside were my responsibiity becos Allah swt had already got them in this world thru me, but the one inside was Allah swt’s problem.  If “HE’ willed, my feotus would survive and if it was in my best interest, he would’nt. My faith amazed her. At that point, it wasn’t really my faith, thinking back, I feel it was simply a maternal instinct  to be with her young ones.

 That time, was a time, I also understood, where my relatives and friends stood and what their limitations were. It took me many years to forgive them and perhaps one day, I might even forget it. But for now, it is still fresh.

Sam used to visit me briefly becoz he used to keep both my little precious darlings waiting ‘alone’ at the entrance of the hospital with only the security guard who would casually look after them.  He had made it very clear that babysitting was not his responsiblitiy which I completely agree with.

I urged the doctors to release me but they were very adamant that it would be a suicidal mission to let me go. I persisted but in vain.  The doctors know best and they knew that in my condition, resting was the best precaution. the damage was already done and all they could do was to keep me going till the baby was ready to come…. but I did’nt realize that … or perhaps I was in denial.  The idea was to keep me in the hospital till the baby arrived …. for 3 onths in the hospital !!!!! I missed the boys so much. I felt quilty. I felt anguish. I felt some how I was being punished. And most of all I felt helpless. I was caged and all those whom I cared for the most were suffering becoz of me. 

Finally the last straw, on the 5th day, early morning, sam arrived in the morning and as much as he did’nt want to tell me, he said that Sawaab was very sick .. I must have been sitting on hot lava. I protested with the doctors that I needed release.  The senior consultant came for round in the afternoon and when I told him my end of the story, although he was compassionate, and tried his best to convince me, then persuade me to stay back, finally he gave in but not before knocking some fear and sense in my head. He told me with a stern face in a voice I’ll never forget

” If we let you go now, the next time ONLY your body will be coming back to us”

I remember feeling some amount of realization for the first time. He was serious ~ My condition was serious although I walked and talked and felt absolutely no pain.  My uterus was a time bomb. I had a previous scar  in my uterus and my placenta was edging it.  Only when we have fever, we seek medication. If we have a headache or some body part ache, a paracetemol, tylenol or panadol is all we look out for.  When we hear ‘Cancer’ we are terrified and seek urgent attention. My doctor had tried to convince me that I was making a mistake but I was a determined mother who had immense faith in Allah. No physician came before that faith, but the physician came after the faith.

I was asked to sign a form which stated clearly that my situation was explained and clarified and in the event that if anything should happen to me, the health officials would not be held responsible. Little did I know …. I was signing my suicide note……

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WHY WOMEN ARE SO SPECIAL .. ..

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Mum and Dad were watching TV when Mum said, “I’m tired, and it’s getting late. I think I’ll go to bed.”
She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day’s lunches. Rinsed out the popcorn bowls,
took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels,
filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button.
She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.
She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry. She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.

She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the excursion and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend,addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her bag. Mum then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night Solution & amp; age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails.

Dad called out, “I thought you were going to bed.”

“I’m on my way,” she said. She put some water into the dog’s dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on. She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and radios, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.

In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list. She said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals.

About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. “I’m going to bed.” And he did…without another thought.
Anything extraordinary here? Wonder why women live longer…? ‘CAUSE THEY ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL…….  (and they can’t die sooner, they still have things to do!!!!)

A Letter To My Dear Son

This is a beautiful and sad poem written by a mother whos son passed away at a tender age of only 20. I came across it sometime back and felt I needed to share it with you’ll. Its so sad,  

A Letter To My Dear Son
       
The hardest thing I thought I’d ever have to do
was go through labor and give birth to you…
But it wasn’t.

Then I thought…
The hardest thing I’d ever have to do
was to keep you from harm through the toddler years,
teach you right from wrong,
teach you to love others while showing you I loved you…
But it wasn’t.

Then I thought…
The hardest thing I’d ever have to do
was watch you leave me on your first day of school,
worrying about you,
hoping you’d be all right without me by your side,
reassuring you that I loved you…
But it wasn’t.

Then I thought…
The hardest thing I’d ever have to do
was get you through your younger years,
do all the right things for you,
spend enough time with you,
try to be your friend,
discipline you when I needed to,
worry about you and
never let you forget how very much I loved you…
But it wasn’t.

Then I thought…
The hardest thing I’d ever have to do
was watch you grow into a teen-ager,
help you make the right decisions,
trying to protect you, sometimes being tough on you,
while all along always trying to stay a friend to you,
hoping I was doing what I should for you,
worrying about you all the time,
reminding you how much I loved you…
But it wasn’t.

Then I thought…
The hardest thing I’d ever have to do
was watch you grow into a young man,
teaching you how to get along in the world by yourself,
reminding you that you are never really alone and
seeing you leave home to be on your own,
letting you know I’d always be there for you,
making sure you’d always remember how much you’re loved…
But it wasn’t.

I know what it was…
The hardest thing I ever had to do
was open the door to your room,
to have to see your body lying still,
wanting for you to smile at me and knowing you couldn’t,
wanting you to get up and talk to me, and tell me you were O.K.
But it didn’t happen.

The hardest thing I ever had to do was to live without you,
my times with you were over.

The hardest thing I ever had to do was say good-bye to you, my son,
though you were so young, only twenty,
I have so many memories of our times together and
I’ll never forget how much you changed my life,
how much you meant to me and how much I loved you.

Forever and Always,

Mom

Are you a mom ?

YOU KNOW YOUR A MOM WHEN
1. You count the sprinkles on each kid’s cupcake to make sure they’re equal.
2. You have time to shave only one leg at a time.

3. You hide in the bathroom to be alone.

4. Your kid throws-up and you catch it.

5. Someone else’s kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.

7. As you cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; your child chews his toast into the shape of a gun.

8. You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it’s the only one your child eats.

9. You find yourself cutting your husband’s sandwiches into cute shapes.

10. You hear your mother’s voice coming out of your mouth when you say, “NOT in your good clothes!”

11. You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.

12. You donate to charities in the hope that your child won’t get that disease.

13. You hire a sitter because you haven’t been out with your husband in ages, then spend half the night checking on the kids.

14. You use your own saliva to clean your child’s face.

15. You say at least once a day, “I’m not cut out for this job”, but you know you wouldn’t trade it for anything.”