Alcohol ~ Halal or Haram ~ 2

This post is actually a part of the  previous post of Wine being Halal or Haram in Islam.
There are scores of authentic Islamic sites which will explain the position of Alcohol in Islam.
The Learned  Dr Zakir Naik himself, has explained elaborately why Alcohol is haram for Muslims.
His explanations are par excellence.
However, for all those of you, who “assume” that you know how to handle your alcohol aka “Keep my liquor down”, please tell me, do any of the following images show you how much respect you gain in this state of intoxication ?
 
The excuses are endless like, “I drink to release stress, drink only socially, drink very responsibly, drink to ease my worries, drink to forget my worries”  ……. I can jot down a dozen excuses why people prefer drinking. But the basic reason, that I believe in, is that they are simply following what Shaitaan is whispering to them. They are slaves of their habits and they are puppets to peer pressure.
 
Any one with an ounce of sense is not going to consume something that is going to cause his body harm (in the long term or short term in large quantity or small quantity ), embarass him becoz he now feels “released” enough to do leave behind his social inhibitions and could possibly cause harm to others around him (socially, physically, mentally)
 
It is purely disgusting to see women, disgracing themselves ~ all in the name of “having some fun”  !!

It all starts with having a good time !

Until it ends in such a shameful state !

There is no dignity left in either of these pictures ~ ONLY DISGRACE.

How easy do you think, it is, for a man to take advantage of her, in the state she is in ??? And then who’s to blame ???

How do you think these women deal with themselves in the mirror the next morning ???
 
They have even coined a term for this term. WASTED !!!! Exactly that and still dont realize that they are “wasting” that precious life.

This poor dude is now vulnerable to anyone who wishes to throw a prank at him. Who is to blame for in this situation ?????

Havent we heard that “like a million times before ?????   One of the many denials !!

ruined the moment ~ ruined your reputation forever !

And they still think that drinking is civil !!! that one CAN drink “responsibly” (yes, ofcourse I have heard THAT a hundred times )

So drunk that he does not have any realization of where he is …

so drunk that he does not realize he is floored with the can !!!

There are scores of pictures, that I can post here, but some of them are just so explicit and disgusting that I cant get myself display them ~ even if it is just to get my point across and show you that there’s a HUGE reason why ALCOHOL IS HARAM in Islam. Do you really need any more reasons ?? I have a dozen pics more if you need more reasons !!

Do you realize how easily one slips from being very conscious to being sober to be tipsy to being totally drunk and do you realize how deadly this condition can be and IS, if your behind the wheel ???

Ask her, and she’ll tell you :-

 Such a beautiful and promising girl’s life is a struggle today. She is not the only one ~ there are hundreds like her whose lives are destroyed forever, but she is an inspiration, none the less.

Thousands of lives are lost thru out the world when some drunk fool decides to drive his car back home !  So many families suffer, so many homes destroyed forever … … . . .

This is a poem by Caroline :-

A poem to get you thinking about the consequences of drink drivingI went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mum
So I had a sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
That I didn’t drink and drive,
Though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right,
The party finally ended,
And the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming, Mum
Something I expected least.

Now I’m lying on the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mum, his voice seems far away.

My own blood’s all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
This girl is going to die.

I’m sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive,
Now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Mum
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
Like a hundred stabbing knives.

Someone should have taught him,
That it’s wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I’d still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mum
I’m getting really scared.
These are my final moments,
And I’m so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mum,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, ‘I love you, Mum!’
So I love you and good-bye.

DRINK DRIVING KILLS

Caroline

Need I say more ????

Abaya without Hijaab ? ? ? ?

Eid Mubarak to all my brothers and sisters who visit my site so often and delight me with their presence.

I hope everyone likes the new theme for the site ! Although, I love the birds but dont exactly like the idea of them mingling with a heart inbetween but that was a part of the theme so I had little to no choice in that.

Eid in Dubai is always a grand and lavish affair ~ with all the malls hosting lots of color and decorations for their guests. Dubai is exceptionally busy with the GCC crowd ushering in, in this season.

Watching little girls flaunting their beautiful new dresses with gold and silver ruffles and streamers. Young boys with their Ben10 gadgets and chic looking clothes feeling all-so-speacial are all part of the Eid charm. Cinema halls seem endlessly booked out  !!  People crowding in long queues for taxis and young boys in their starched clothes at all the coffee cafes ~ just some of the many scenes in the malls.

However one of the more unusual but saddening scene was also this :

It is not the first time that I witnessed this confused generation and thankfully, its not a common site, however this particular time, I really felt compelled to write about these sisters who seemed oblivious of the world around them. I would not like to highlight which region these sisters were from ~ “THAT” is rather irrelevant to me, atleast ~ but perhaps that is exactly the statement they seemed to be making.

What was hard to digest was :

  • what was the purpose behind wearing an abaya without a hijaab ?

  • Wearing so much gold cladded bling on the shoulders ?

  • Having their chest open ~ revealing exactly what needed to be veiled !!!

  • They have already failed the real reason behind wearing the hijaab and the abaya. So why bother continuing ??

One wonders what and where do such women fit in ? Modern women ? Muslim women ? Religious women ? Show-off Arab women ?

Honestly , “THAT” did not so concern  me as well, becoz I think, they are virtually fooling themselves into believing that they are following Islamic values. My best guess is that they are trying to be identified as “belonging to a certain region”.

And again, they are attempting to fool people around them, that they are Muslim Arab women. When in fact they are barely clinging onto to either identities !!  Hence I called them the confused lot.

I still simply fail to understand, the purpose behind wearing the Abaya in the first place !! There cant be a customized version of the abaya or hijaab if your not covering the body and head.

Frankly, I pity them and I pity the generation they will be misleading … … … Two generations down the line, I dread the outcome … …  Till then May Allah give them hidayah ~ Ameen.

ps. this amazing digital drawing is courtesy Ms.Ayesha of Mnawrah. You can find her gorgeous works of art on Flickr as well as DeviantArt under the name of Mnawrah.

Faith gives you wings !

This is such an inspirational quote.  I know, so many of you who visit my blog on a regular basis could find some respite in reading this quote if your disillusioned or going thru some trauma (May Allah forbid) ~  I know alot of these quotes sound soothing but it takes REAL FAITH to get you going thru those deliemmas ~ when they do appear.  For me, in my heart, all I believe is that Allah swt is always carrying me.  And I am ALWAYS thanking and praising him for that. To be honest, “Thats” enough for me to believe.

I have had my share of troubles and confusions and even when there was NOT ONE SINGLE SOUL who could guide me, share with me, support me ~ there was Allah swt ALWAYS. Knowing that ~ believing in that ~ made everything so much more “liveable” for me otherwise, I cant imagine what my state would have been then ! 

Everyday, we struggle.  Everyday, we are made to make choices. Everyday, we walk the thin line between haram and halal in small matters and sometimes big ones ~ but truth of the matter is that if you keep Allah swt in the center of all your decisions, you just cant go wrong. Question is “do you before it gets too late ? or Do you when its already too late ?

This world is a wild place and a few wrong steps, a few misplaced trusts can be  “near fatal”.   I know I took the leap knowing very well in my heart that “HE” would teach me how to fly ~ 18 years and counting, I am saying exactly how I felt then and now. Faith gives you wings !

Three friends who came to New York.

Once three friends came to the …New York city. They decided to stay in a hotel during the visit. It so happened that their room ended up being on the 60th floor.

The policy of the hotel was that every night after 12:00 a.m. the elevators are shut down for security reasons. So on the next day, the three friends rented a car and went out to explore the city.

They enjoyed movies, concerts, and other things throughout the whole day. At one point, they remembered that they have to get back to the hotel before 12 a.m. When they arrived, it was beyond 12 a.m. at night.

The elevators were shut down. There was no other way to get back to their room but to take the stairs all the way to the 60th floor. All of a sudden, one friend got an idea.

He said “For the first 20 floors, I will tell jokes to keep us going.

Then another one of us could say wisdom stories for the next 20 floors.

Then, we will cover the other 20 floors with sad stories.”

So, one of the friends started with the jokes. With laughs and joy, they reached the 20th floor. Now, another friend started saying stories that are full of wisdom. So, they learned a lot while reaching the 40th floor.

Now, it was time for the sad stories. So, the third friend started thus, “My first sad story is that I left the key for the room in the car.”

Lesson For Us ♥: Now, what is the point of this story? This story resembles our life cycle. For the first 20 years of our life, we spend time in joking and enjoying whatever is out there.

Then, after we reach 20, we go into the work force, get married, have kids and this is the time when we use our wisdom.

Then, if we reach 40, we finally see the white hairs and begin to think that my life is coming to an end.

Moral ♥ : It’s better that we start our life in the very beginning by remembering death rather than preparing for it at the end our life when very few of us have the energy to obey ALLAH completely.

Flea Markets in Dubai

Actually, its rather the lack of flea Markets in Dubai !!
 
I know, some of you may have totally different opinions about friends and making “real” friends in the blogosphere, but I have been fortunate enough to have bumped into some very thoughtful and creative friends thru the blog world. Its always a joy when you “meet” someone who is practical, creative, has the same hobby as yourself, and is a mom ! One such friend and I, have been enjoying exchanging a bunch of links.  What links ? you ask ? 
 
Well, one of the most fullfilling feeling I get, is when I see an old piece of furniture get a new lease of life with a fresh coat of paint or a new fabric to cover up old spoils. Things like how you can reuse, recycle or refurbish a room are abosolute joys to me. I used to virtually spend hours dug in, links into links into links ~ lost in a beautiful world where common people like myself are making a difference, one object at a time. One such fantastic site is :http://betterafter.blogspot.com/ Amazing transformations here.
      
(This transformation is an absolute joy from “three boys“. Kindly follow the link to view the other amazing projects too. )
                                            
And another one of those “viewing” passions, is the Flea Markets in America.  Its amazing to visit just a few of them on the web and feel so enchanted by the vast variety of different period furniture, clothes, suitcases, antiques and what not.  It is a such an eye candy just visiting those booths with a cocktail of items from jewellry to boots to a swing !
                                             
In Dubai however, things are different. Being a melting pot of cultures, nationalities, languages and traditions, people of different mentalities feel certain inhibitions towards using second hand stuff. There is a large population of labourers and maids from India, Pakistan, Srilanka, Bangladesh, Philipines, indonesia, Ethopia and a few other countries too.  Then there are the clerical workers, mostly Asians again but not very handsomely paid for their 6 days a week, 10 hour a day job ! If anything, such sales would benefit them the most.
 
One of the most generous groups of people in Dubai are the super affluent locals (Emarati’s), who would generally handover their clothes and accessories to their drivers and maids, while the furniture is traditionally changed every year and the old ones are simply “dumped”. Thats right, you read it right, dumped by the dumpster !  They would generally consider it below their dignity to sell it in the second hand market. 
 
There is a large second hand market in Dubai which caters to mainly furniture goods. Some of the shops in Karama are the favorite haunts for new lower income asians to pick their furniture from. One of the things I love about Dubai ~ theres a place for everyone to find what they’re looking for, be it food, accomodation, grocery or clothes.
 
Ofcourse the advent of “Foreigners” ~ aka Americans, Europeans, Australians, and New Zealanders did bring about the concept of garage sale or yard sales in Dubai. What with ads for garage sales in the Jumeirah and Mirdiff areas in the 1990s and ofcourse with the boom of the property era, areas like the Greens, Marina, Lakes, Arabian Ranches, falcon city ~ have all followed the traditional annual spring cleaning followed by garage sales. These sales are generally community based run by word of mouth or a flyer on the community market notice board or an advert in the local classified section of Gulf News.  They are so popular especially coz nearly everyone is benefiting from them.
 
Our Arabian Ranches Market Day is a huge hit, and you’d find everyone selling and buying toys, clothes, shoes, stuff, that kids have outgrown, or lost interest in, grown up, and sometimes, even unwanted “gifts” !!  People from all walks of life, are seen buzily buying and enjoying the family time together becoz the management sets the school ground as a family day park  for the residents, putting up food stalls and bouncing castles for the children.
                                                              
                                            
For a long period of time, The Feline Friends garage sale was hugely popular. You had people lining up from early hours of a friday morning in the sultry heat, hours before the gates opened at the factory outlet in Al Quoz where they would temporarily pile up heaps and heaps of clothes, toys, shoes, furniture, house decor and so much much more into a dozens of mini mountains. Word spread amongst the labour community and these became very popular. With designer trousers going for dhs 1 !!!!! why wouldnt it !
Now these sales are a rare event in some villa courtyard in Al Barsha, maybe once every couple of months but definetly nowhere close to the amount of stuff and crowd as it used to attract before.
 
                                        
I have been an ardent visitor to the FF Garage sales. It gives me tremendous satisfaction knowing that I have not blown away 3 workers salary on a single branded handbag or an entire years salary of one labour on a pair of branded sandals !! Its truly a joy, knowing your putting in your bit by trying to recylcle and reuse. For whatever reason, those sales are not held anymore, unfortunetly.
 
Generally folks living in villa’s, leaving the country for good, would initially give away most of the things to their maids and helpers and sometimes put up a “Leaving Country” sale. If your lucky, you could hit jackpot. Years back, I remember, I heard of one such sale from a friend of a friend of one Mary who was then running the scrapbookers network in Dubai and when she was leaving her house she put up a sale,  although I was late in attending it, I remember, feeling like I was in a crafters paradise !!!!  
For someone who was looking for clothes, purses and cooking utensils, her crafters scrapbooks or rubberstamps would’ve meant zilch, but to someone who saves for every copic marker, it was BIG !!
 
You’d be amazed at what is seen lying in the bylanes of Umm Sequeim or Jumeirah or Nad Al Sheeba !! To the westerner who cannot even come close to imagining, to what extent the Rich are Rich here, a close up of their garbage bins, is a good place to begin from 🙂
                                         
I remember, in the 2008 economic melt down, we remember, seeing a group of maids rumaging thru a heap of garbage bags in one of the communities of Ranches. On a closer look, I saw one of the maids toss a handbag behind which I recognized was a PRADA. No not the fake ones. Having been gifted the original thing, I knew how to differentiate them.  There were 11 such designer bags in that garbage bag !!!!!!!!   There were several such garbage bags scattered everywhere…  Naturally, they belonged to some filthy rich but unfortunate lady,  who had to leave the country in haste lest she get stuck in the jail for defaulting on her bank loan payments, decided Prada was not worth her freedom !
I was super happy some time back, when they started a flea market, in Safa Park, jumeirah. In the summers, they kept it in the adjacent school auditorium and it was attracting a crowd and people were leaving happy with their shoppings and vendors were not too unhappy too with their sales. It is a good platform. Unfortunetly, I feel they have not really marketted themselves well and I feel, alot of vendors are now bringing stuff from India etc trying to sell it there. Not alot of people are aware of them in the different areas of Dubai. Look them up here at : Dubai Flea Market. Dubai Flea Market
 
I know, there is one store in a small mall in Satwa, where ladies (the super rich class )  who if they wish to give away their “Original & Only Designer ” handbags, scarves, accessories etc can put them up there and they sell them for a relatively good price instead of dumping them in the bin. Imagine a Versace or a Channel, visiting something close to the dump !! Criminal, isnt it ????
 
In my experience, I have found, one good option in selling and buying second hand goods in Dubai is Dubizzle. Thats an online market, where, you just register without having to pay any fees. I have sold my ikea egg chair and a fax machine thru dubizzle and was amazed by the spontaneous response, I got. I never thought it was so popular but I suppose, online shopping has finally caught up in Dubai.
                                        10.1 Flea market,Athens
 
Ofcourse for those of you, who are interested in a good reading, dont forget to join the second hand books fair, that feline friends hold with the Arte Market at Times Square. Imagine a good book, and the proceeds goes in the upkeep and the feline neutering programe.
 
I still feel, there is a huge market here for selling used goods, not necessarily for workers but there are so many many, low income families who would benefit too. Having a proper flea market could and would answer alot of problems. Its a way, in which your trash is going to benefit someone. A hole in a sweater may mean a good bye from you, but for someone who decides that a 20 dhs sweater may be too steep a price,  would be overjoyed to have yours for free or even if it is for dhs 1 or 2 !! Please remember, what you give, (eventually after completing the whole circle) , returns to you.  
 
If you have enjoyed this article or benefitted from it, kindly leave a comment. I would appreciate it alot.
 
Naush
 
Photograpsh: courtesy Google Images.

Safa Park.

Last Wednesday was Manu’s annual sports day at Safa Park. He was so insistent that I attend, which I managed to easily skip for Bilal and sawaab. But not Manu. He insisted.

It was a very “happy” morning, with clouds looming and the rain had poured earlier that morning, so it smelled and looked so lush and green.

 So anyways while I was finding parking, as usual late, I realized how rarely we, as a family visit parks. Maybe its coz we have a large and beautiful park right infront of our house or maybe, living in a “DESERT” region, we are now more acclamatised to the MALL culture. Which ever, I loved the experience. Met with some other fantastic moms and completly enjoyed the morning.

It also took me to some 19 years back, when i had first arrived in Dubai and my brothers family wanted to take me out to Safa Park being the ” IN THING” those days. I remember, how my sister in law had gone on, about how far it was from town. Ironically I now reside 3 times further and Safa Park almost seems right in city now 🙂

How a city has grown !  One thing peculier I noticed was the park has all of the trees, grown in this region. oh and what I meant by that was that, generally a park would have alot of palm trees but here they had all the different types of arabian trees.

I promised my self to bring everyone in the family for a proper traditional picnic to safa park one of these days, inshallah.

Enjoy the pics.

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Child Marriage !!

 

Observe the expression on the girl's face sitting on the right ! Priceless :)

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street.  

The father, being modern and well-schooled in  handling children, hid his smile behind his hand.    
   ‘That’s a serious step,’ he said.      

‘Have you thought it out completely?’  

‘Yes,’ his young son answered.  

‘We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers.  It’s right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark.’                

‘How about transportation?’ the father asked.
 ‘I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles,’   the little boy answered.

                
The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.                

       Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, ‘What about babies?  When you’re married,  you’re liable to have babies, you know.’

‘We’ve thought about that, too,’  
the little boy replied.  
             
         ‘We’re not going to have babies.                
Every time she lays an egg,

I’m going to step on it!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxoxo
 
        NOW THAT’S BIRTH CONTROL-!        

Playing Santa in January.

Today was Samie’s last vacation day and lo ! feeling so sad that he wont be enjoying the relaxation with us from tomorrow. This vacation although was the first where we were in Dubai but it was so much fun and calming. There were no obligations, no stress, no forced shopping, and definetly no early mornings !! It was truck loads of fun.

Sam arrived rather late after picking up Eman from school and before I knew it, there were heaps of presents he bought for all of us. Okay so let me start with me, he got me this marinade tray with board, a full set of knife set AND, AND AND ………. He also bought this really handy tool box. You see sam generally offers his salat in my studio and wonders how I manage to create anything in the middle of all the  clutter and chaos in my studio. This nice man wanted to make it easy and get my space alittle organized so voila, what a lovely and thought ful gift.

Oh yeah, and the kids got something too, they love washing Sam and my car, but by the end of it, there are gallons upon gallons spend on the shower so he got them the pressure kit for washing the cars to make the chore fun and more economical for us.

Oh and how could he forget “the other” kids. Pepper has claimed the new catnip and cat scratch tray as his own. He has strongly placed it as not limit zone for poor Keiki. 

There isnt a day that passes by when I dont thank my Allah for blessing me with the most compassionate and thoughtful man. I wanted to share the pictures with you’ll.

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On the other hand, have you wondered why husbands come up with the most practical and productive gifts for their wives and where does all the romance disappear with chocolates and flowers ???

If I were one of em thankless women, I would be thinking there are vibes I am getting from these gifts like

” Lady. We need to eat more bbq meals ! 

” Get your chaos Organized. Woman !!

” Wash the car more often boys” !!

Last but the most important : Get those paws  outta my couch and into your own turf !!

 USE that scratching pad !!!!! 

But thats just the humor in me .. have to have the last laugh now 🙂

New Year’s Eve at The World’s Tallest Tower.

A Very blessed year to all of you reading this post ! 2010 came with a mixed bag of fortunate and very unfortunate events like salt and pepper but finally we can put all that behind us and move forward.

To all those of you, feeling low right now, please remember, it could be worse. Please try to see where you are fortunate in so many other ways and dont despair your situation. There is so much more we should be thankful about. Good health would have to be right there on top of that list ! Loneliness is a dread but atleast being alive and in good health is better than being with selfish and calculating companions. Please friends, Keep the faith.

Well for me the last couple of weeks were total relaxation.

A couple a good news : 

  • I won the basic grey blog candy. Which was a first for me ! If you havent won anything yet or if you have won too, you know exactly how excieting it is winning something. Especially something you really like. It may be sometime before which I receive my prize though.
  • I am cleared of my tumor which I was on treatment for over the last 6 months for. That is really “GREAT” news and a relief !!!

For the last decade we have spend every New Year eve in our home country but really felt so alienated and dependant on others becoz we really were there in our own country only as ‘visitors’ !  And finally this winter we are here and we spend the new years eve watching the fireworks at the super phenomenal Burj Khalifa ! It was just great ! Dubai was chilled cold last night. And just having the freedom to travel anywhere at any hour here, is so so great. We really are fortunate to be living in such a country without fear of carrying our national documents, or fear of being stolen, fear of not carrying enough eatables coz nearly all the petrol pumps have a fantastic grocer which is 24 hours.  Counting small pleasures. 

Here are just a couple of pictures of the celebration last night :

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Dubai Tube family has a picnic.

We’re having a 4 day long long loooooooooong weekend and We have been completely enjoying it. Its really very rare to get so many holidays one after the other. First Eid holidays and now the UAE National day weekend have really been stress relievers.

I dont think we are a very traditional or rather conventional family. I realized this truly when on Friday, I suggested that since the weather is so super fantastic, why dont we go to the beach and thats when It popped to me, that we havent had a beach visit or a park visit in like ……… forever. Maybe once when the boys were 4 or 5 ! Thats nearly 5 years back ! Why have we become such a tube family. Mom ~ tube, dad~ tube and kids~tube oriented.

Suddenly there was an urge .. a need to break the spell. Although We were getting a bit late, I decided that we just had to enjoy the cool waters. Some of these pictures speak volumes of the fun that we had this friday. It was such a bliss. Scores and scores of families were there. Some in the water, some playing with the kids, some without families,  were just roaming around aimlessly.  Probably remembering their families and hoping they were here to share the moment with them.

One thing I never understand about some particular arab states of the middle east is their need to always carry the foldable chairs and plonk themselves and their shishas to enjoy any scene. But the good thing about the locals and the GCC folks is that they would carry their beautiful carpets with them and gladly spread it over the sand and enjoy their macrona meals over it. Different people different likes.

When we were a young Indian family living the dream in Kuwait back in the 70s. We carried everything from tea flasks, to soap with us in our tiny japanese cars. I suppose thats where I get it from. I too have my Yukon  stacked up with spare blankets, sheets, pillows, jackets, water and what have you ~ at any given time.   So much has changed, we have achieved so much in terms of progress but quite a bit is lost too. Amongst one of those things is that we have lost interdependence. We are more nuclear now, we prefer to move around as a single family as opposed to how we “needed” to move around as a group of families, dining together as “middle class restaurants” ~ far far from the reach of today’s fast food restaurants,  we found joy in sharing the hot homemade tea’s in thermos’s rather than hoping over to any one of the Eppco/Enoc fuel stations to grab a costa with some fuel ! All cars ran religiously behind one another and if one had a pit stop for the kids to answer the call of nature., everyone would wait coz there were no mobiles to communicate, remember !  And there were no bathrooms either 🙂

 For the older folks, it must be quite a change and they must never end with lines like,” back in our days . . . . . .  .”

 I am fine with whatever, I dont miss much, I am happy as long as “WE” are happy and having fun. To be very honest, I think life is so much more convenient now compared to then when mom used to spend half the night preparing for the picnic and a large part of the early morning packing everything.  It must’ave been so stressful but the women folk would do it ~ they’d do it for the family. If anyone has seen the movie “NAMESAKE” He understands what I mean and if you have not seen this movie, then grab a copy of the dvd at the earliest.

I broke the spell and absolutely enjoyed running, collecting shells, making a complete utter mess in the mud fight, making sand angels and just generally swimming around freely in the beautiful beach. 

By the time, the boys were ready to leave, it was nearly dusk and what a spectacular view we got, on one end, stood the gorgeous Burj Al Arab, and behind us was the magnificient Burj Khalifa. The shots, I got, are nothing short of amazing.

Lessons from 2010 ~ part 2.

Just a day before we had sam admitted for the operation. Twas Bilal's birthday.11 May 2010

Two days after Sam’s surgery, he was still in the ICU. I needed to stay close to him so I slept for a couple of hours in the common ladies waiting room in the night and kept waiting for the visiting hours the rest of the time. I had not visited the kids the first 5 days. There was a large, safe and clean cafeteria which was 24 hours so really almost all my immediate needs were taken care of.  Needlessto say, I hardly slept. I would be seen prowling constantly infront of the ICU, waiting for visiting hours to begin.

Most of the security guards and cleaners and nurses had come to know me very well by now. And one thing I was asked several times, is how I managed to keep so composed ! I remember, a distant friend of mine called once and tried to console me briefly; becoz she did not know all the details, she almost made me feel, “like its not the end of the world”.

It took a whole lot of patience and maturance to not snap back at her. Perhaps my state of mind and patience was already stretched beyond its capacity and here, I had someone telling me, that it could’nt be all the bad !! I must have been alittle sharp in my tone, although I said nothing offensive. This friend came all the way from Dubai to check up on Sam in the evening while I was in the cafeteria. By the time I returned, She had already seen  Sam.  She came over to me and just broke down in tears.   Human emotions are fragile. I learnt just how very fragile.  I found myself consoling her that evening !!

During those first 2 weeks, my telephone was flooded with calls. Calls from abroad, local calls, dozens of sms’s. At some stage, I almost felt like a telephone operator and at some other times, like telephone voice message. I nearly detested it having to answer the calls and repeat the same updates over and over !  Most of the calls that came from Sam’s friends had a similar feel to it.

It went something like this :

“How did this happen ?

” “Why did’nt he tell us ?”

 “I found out thru so and so ”

“How did you’ll diagnose it ?”

“Why dont you get it done in India?”

“Let me know if you need anything ”

Duh !!! As if !!!!!!! I realized that we should be careful in what we say to a person when he going thru an ordeal especially one which involves health. He sits there feeling “how would you know, you dont have this problem” while we ask all the silly questions and even offer our unwanted advice !!

Nobody really knows whats going thru the mind of a person sinking in his boat except he himself !! so why pretend to have answers. But I suppose its a polite etiquette or ritual to do so !!!

Trying so hard to ease his pain... young sawaab

In all of Sam’s friends, there was only one guy whom he has disclosed his condition to, and also explained in detail about the operation.  Instead of making the effort of being around with us, he calls two days later wanting to know how things were !!! His wife had the audacity to state that 8 months back, when she was in India where her mother was sick, We didnt call on her in India, we just visited her hubby here !!! Thats friendship for you.

I learnt that encouragement, support and compassion does not necessarily come from those whom we know for sure will show it. Many a times, there can be a big disappointment. And many a times, it can come from a totally unexpected corner !! Therefore, its best to pin hopes only from Allah swt. He is the creator, he will create a way. . .

The lesser your expectation, the better chance you’ve got a solid relationship !! In all honesty, I dont believe in what I just said.     How can one not have expectations from someone you speak to virtually everyday ??? Someone whom you share your domestic secrets and office hassels ???

I realized now, that someone going thru trauma, doesnt need our silly superficial talks, he just needs genuine concern and someone who can listen and perhaps understand. Not judge. Never Judge !

I’ve learnt that Health, Wealth and children are a man’s biggest assets and they are also his biggest weakness too. He is most vulnerable when there is a deficiency in either his health or his wealth and if his children are away or hurt.

On the left is samie's surgeon, Dr Ziani and on the right is Dr ousama at Sheikh Khailifa Medical city.

I also learnt that what ever our sickness is, the two extreme way approach is not really the best.

Either we focus on the sickness so much that all our positive energy is drained and we’re completly touchy and depressed all the time.

On the other hand, completly living in denial and trying to carry on with life as though nothing has happened is not going to take us anywhere too.

When a disease strikes, it is a way of the body responding and telling us that something wrong is happening. why ignore and live in denial that alls well. We have to make positive changes to cure our problem.

Earlier I never stopped sam from the quantity he ate, or the amount of his salt intake, or from munching those                in-between snacks or hogging on all those nihari’s and ghee smothered parathas !! How much could our body take ?? Naturally we made changes. How could we not ??

I’ve also learnt that staying in a hospital, no matter how plush and sophisticated it is, can be quiet a sad and lonely experience. There’s a reason why Muslims have a sunnah, which is to visit the sick and that too it states, how and for how long should the visit last and what should be spoken off when visiting.

While we were transfered to the private room from the ICU, a bunch of volunteers had organized an hour program for the long staying patients of the hospital. They got out their guitars and sang lovely songs, some played board games and some card games. It was so refreshing to see the smiles on the elderly patients, who had, by now, gotten so used to staying over long periods of isolation ! 

A visit to the hospital can really make a great difference in the life of the patient and it makes us realize how fortunate we are for being blessed with good health too. we may feel, what good would a single short visit from us do for a patient, what we probably dont realize is how he/she may not have had seen family, friends or relatives for so long and a short talk with them may make them feel “wanted” or “not forgotten”  Try it, you’ll know what I mean.

This post was not supposed to get long, but perhaps I “Have” learnt quite a bit. I really hope, what I have learnt from my experience helps you to make even one single change in your life.

Come back to read the 3rd Part of “lessons from 2010”

Diamonds, Pearls and a woman’s body.

Diamonds And Pearls

The following incident took place when Muhammed Ali’s daughters arrived at his home wearing clothes that are not modest. Here is the story as told in detail by one of his daughters:

When we finally arrived, the chauffer escorted my youngest sister, Laila, and me to my father’s suite. As usual, he was hiding behind the door waiting to scare us. We exchanged hugs and kisses as we could possibly give in one day. My father took a good look at us. Then he sent me down in his lap and said something I will never forget. He looked me straight in the eyes and said,

 “Hana, everything that God made valuable in the world covered and hard to get to. Where do you find diamonds? Deep down in the ground, covered and protected. Where do you find pearls? Deep down at the bottom of the ocean, covered up and protected in a beautiful shell. Where do you find gold? Way down and in the mine, covered over with layers and layers of rock. You’ve got to work hard to get them.” He looked at me with serious eyes. “Your body is sacred. You’re far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and you should be covered too.”

Chore Chart ~ Rule of the game.

In preparation for the holidays, we had done a few “rules list”. We had it printed and pasted. It is really the usual kinda list that helps children focus with what needs to be done instead of ‘expecting’ them to do the “right ” thing when they dont know whats to be done.

I have realized, often we ‘assume’ that the child will understand, but we forget that we take it for granted at age 35+ but the kids are still only 9 yrs and how much did we understand at that age ??  Children need to be given specific tasks.

SCENARIO 1:

Example, when I ask the boys to clean up their room. As much as they would really want to, they attentively go back in and start playing with the first toy that they are supposed to pick from the floor … and another 2 hours later, the same scenario is repeated !

THEREFORE SCENARIO 2:

However, when I yell out,

sawaab – all toys from the floor to be placed in the baskets .

Eman, all clothes in the laundry bin

Bilal, make all beds …

The effect is Immediate and extraordinary.

Sam always says the same thing to the boys, clean the lounge room and they look around thinking, the louge room already looks great.  However when they are given specific instructions, and assigned chores, it makes more sense, not to mention productivity hits great heights.

eg: Eman, pick all wrappers and throw in the trash bin

Bilal : tidy the dining table & do the cushions on the couch ..

Sawaab : Vaccum the carpet  

Voila .. we sit back and reap the many benefits of having a chore chart ..

Oh and by the way, I dont wear horns on my head, not that, ‘THAT’ stops my boys from hating me for it. Hey they do get their ice creams and playstation time after all that effort is put in !

Kids rule !

FLIGHT CONVERSATION WITH A KID…

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, ‘Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.’

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, ‘What would you like to talk about?’

‘Oh, I don’t know,’ said the stranger. ‘How about nuclear power?’ and he smiles.

‘OK, ‘ she said. ‘That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff – grass -Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?’

The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, ‘Hmmm, I have no idea.’
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To which the little girl replies, ‘Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know shit?

A poem for my children.

There are some times in life when we find ourselves rather helpless. We want the best for those we love, yet destiny has a different story laid out for us. I stand at cross roads having to decide such critical decisions. I am not certain what the reperussions would be on my boys. 

In my confusion and despair, I felt inspired to pen my thoughts, before I knew it, it took shape of a poem. Its nearly after 20 years that I felt the pain to write a poem today. pain, coz I am one of those people who are inspire to write when hurt and create when happy.  Actually its less a poem but my wish, my hope, my prayer for my boys. A mother is the backbone of a family and she constantly has to remain strong. Sometimes I find myself drifting from my hopes and it scares me.

This poem is for my sons who are bonded for better or worse times, but struggle every single day to fight in this very perfect world.  

  They are all dyslexic.

 

My darling Son,

You are unique,

You are special,

You are capable of everything under the sun.

 

In everything you see, feel and show

You are clear yet unsure

 

My precious one, you will always have me beside you,

We will be brave and fight it thru

 

Darling son, don’t ever let them change you

For your disability is not a failure in you,

I know, struggle will always be your best friend

But better that, than silly boys to tend

 

Sensitive as you are

Mocked as you are

Believe in yourself, believe in me

At your feet, this world will be

 

Let your imagination soar

Let your creativity find its core

Your world is so much more beautiful

While ours full of  mean and ridicule   

You have to climb these biased mountains

No one else but you should be certain

 

You are special

You are gifted

You are God’s own chosen one

Use it to bring comfort to others

Use to show kindness to other brothers

 

I feel miserable when I see you lonely in your class

Then I feel perhaps its coz you are a class apart !

 

Don’t join the flock to be one of them

Make instead your own path

Believe that you have been sent down to fulfill a purpose

Be happy, be grateful, we have one another

It may seem difficult today but the road does go further

 

I am with you today in body

Tomorrow in spirit and perhaps

Another day only but in your prayers

Whenever where ever you are,

 Remember God’s chosen one, you are