A women . . . . .

Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater.

If you give her sperm, she’ll give you a baby.

If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home.

 If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal.

 If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart.

 She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.

 So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of s*&t.”

 

women !!

  How many women with MENOPAUSE does it take to change a light bulb?

 Woman’s Answer:

 One! ONLY ONE!!!! And do you know WHY?

 Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb! They don’t even know that the bulb is BURNED OUT!!

 They would sit in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it out. And, once they figured it out, they wouldn’t be able to find the #&%!* light bulbs despite the fact that they’ve been in the SAME CABINET for the past 17 YEARS!

 But if they did, by some miracle, actually find them, 2 DAYS LATER, the chair they dragged to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!!!!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE WRAPPER THE FREAKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN!!! BECAUSE NO ONE EVER PICKS UP OR CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!!!!

 IT’S A WONDER WE HAVEN’T ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE A FOOT DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS PLACE!

 AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON WHO CHANGES THE TOILET PAPER ROLL !!

 I’m sorry. What was the question?

 

Yeah that sounds exactly like me !!! and here’s another one :   Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this one!

Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots?

He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn’t want to go on. Finally, when the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, “Teacher, they’re on the wrong feet.”

 She looked and sure enough, they were. It wasn’t any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on – this time on the right feet.

 He then announced, “These aren’t my boots.”

 She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, “Why didn’t you say so?” like she wanted to. And, once again she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet.

 No sooner they got the boots off and he said, “They’re my brother’s boots. My Mom made me wear ’em.”

 Now she didn’t know if she should laugh or cry. But, she mustered up the grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again.

 Helping him into his coat, she asked, “Now, where are your mittens?”

He said, “I stuffed ’em in the toes of my boots.”

WHY WOMEN ARE SO SPECIAL .. ..

toons12

Mum and Dad were watching TV when Mum said, “I’m tired, and it’s getting late. I think I’ll go to bed.”
She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day’s lunches. Rinsed out the popcorn bowls,
took meat out of the freezer for supper the following evening, checked the cereal box levels,
filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then put some wet clothes in the dryer, put a load of clothes into the washer, ironed a shirt and secured a loose button.
She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.
She watered the plants, emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry. She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.

She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher, counted out some cash for the excursion and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair. She signed a birthday card for a friend,addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store. She put both near her bag. Mum then washed her face with 3 in 1 cleanser, put on her Night Solution & amp; age fighting moisturizer, brushed and flossed her teeth and filed her nails.

Dad called out, “I thought you were going to bed.”

“I’m on my way,” she said. She put some water into the dog’s dish and put the cat outside, then made sure the doors were locked and the patio light was on. She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and radios, hung up a shirt, threw some dirty socks into the hamper, and had a brief conversation with the one up still doing homework.

In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day, straightened up the shoe rack. She added three things to her 6 most important things to do list. She said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals.

About that time, Dad turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular. “I’m going to bed.” And he did…without another thought.
Anything extraordinary here? Wonder why women live longer…? ‘CAUSE THEY ARE MADE FOR THE LONG HAUL…….  (and they can’t die sooner, they still have things to do!!!!)

Topless in Dubai !

There is a local newspaper here, called 7 Days. It is distributed free of charge. Till some time last year, we too, used to get it delivered to our home free of charge, until, I discovered the most interesting thing in that newspaper is the “letter to editor, which is used as a tool by the foreign expats to vent out against so many mundane issues .. virtually anything will do ! 

One thing I never understand is the western people who come to work in Dubai !!  While they are in which ever western country that they come from, they have already heard hoards of stories about Dubai in the positive light. They are excieted, get a job and want to stay here. Yet as soon as they land up in Dubai, they start their whinning about EVERYTHING, wanting to make Dubai, a western country.

They forget this is a muslim arab country. The law is Shariah. The culture is Arabic and the Religion is Islam.

Imagine the audacity of a tiny portion of western ladies, wanting to go topless on the beach !!! Not only for the arab world, but in my opinion, for any part of the world, I think, it is utterly ridiculous and obsence ! I would not want to visit the public beaches with my 9 and 7 year old boys knowing they will be exposed to such indecency.  Thank God, these women are far inbetween the very minority of the foreign population. 

At Mall of Emirates.

At Mall of Emirates.

This photo was taken at Mall of the Emirates where they have a dress code !! It is pasted on every entrance yet women like her challenge it !   Can someone please explain how small can this woman’s shorts really get ? 

This is one of the reasons, we have stopped going to Mercato Mall.  The crowd is a mix of older school students baring all their skin in minimalistic clothes. Behaving absolutely non-lady like. And they feel they are looked upon for such behaviour !!  Why are they inviting trouble ??  

Indecent proposal

Indecent proposal

 Whats really sad is that this girl does not have any respect for her arab friend, or else she would have worn something appropriate, looking less of a  _ _ _ _  indecent girl.

I too am a firm believer that women should be given independence and recognized for their capabilities. But I also believe that women tend to be their own worst enemy. They tend to push the limits with everything.. What are the chances of a girl wearing a typically small dress and passing a goup of boys who are going to enjoy the view and propably pass a comment or two ??  Well. thats it,  first they cause temptation and then they say, oh but I didnt mean for it to happen and he molested  me… ofcourse I am not talking about the majority of girls who have been caught up in some looney guys obsession or timely lust but I am talking about the ones, who went looking for trouble !

Here in the arab world,  rape and molestation is surely heard of but it is far and between R A R E !!  Thank God, for the harsh punishments they have for such crimes. Still these crimes do take place.

I wish people would love what they get when they come to Dubai:  freedom and security. How often do we hear of cars or homes being robbed ? VERY VERY RARE !  Infact there is “shock” if something like that happens.  Women can easily hail a cab or even commute at wee hours of the night, without ever having to fear some weirdo ! This is a safe place. You have the freedom, to wear what you want, speak as you would like, interact with a very multicultural crowd and learn so many customs of people of different regions and yet there are people who constantly whine and want to change things …. why are certain roads dug up ? why is the roads and transport authority switching the road system to placing names of the road/streets ? I mean really People whine about everything. If they dont like the city so much they should leave .. but that they wont becoz they already realize how good it feels to stay in the country where a chunk of your salary is not shared with the govt inform of taxes, this is the country of  the sun and the beautiful beaches and they enjoy modern amneties, malls, roads, freedom and security and ofcourse they also realize that they are only pushing the system to find out how much more can they try and change our good ole arab ways to the western ways of never being satisfied with anything.

While I have mentioned Western, I include australians, south africans, new zealanders etc and although geographically incorrect, even Indians !

Kate Rameez

Women Should Not Have Children After 35!

Women Should Not Have Children After 35!
=====================================

This is one of those controversial statements
But I fully stand behind it.

Women should not have children after 35!

I strongly believe that I can back up this statement with sound 
psychological, medical, and financial data.

Some say, “Of course women can have children after 35!” 

They don’t know what they are talking about and I can guarantee 
they have had very little experience in the matter.

I don’t care what the doctor says.
I don’t care what your friends say.
I don’t even care what your pastor says.

Women should not have children after 35!

I don’t advise it, I vehemently recommend against it, and loudly 
and even at times rudely tell people “don’t even consider it.”

You can quote me on this. If you want to say that 
the writer of MountainWings.com said it, then so be it. 

I said it.

And I said it more than once. 

“Women should not have children after 35!”

Some will send rude e-mails proclaiming the freedom of the womb
but I still stand by what I said.

You may disagree with me, that’s your right. 
I still stand firm on the issue.

With most things I keep an open mind but not on this issue. 

If I find an exception to this rule, 
then I will be open to change but for now, 
it’s firmly closed because I have never seen an exception.

Women should not have children after 35!

35 children are enough!

This was a lesson in jumping to conclusions.

Learn to get the facts first.