The Top 15 Weird Job-Hunting Tips

weird interview tips

weird interview tips

I’m not sure from where this one landed in one of my files, some of them are hilarious while some of them are pretty weird like no #8 and #7

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The Top 15 Job-Hunting Tips

15. Don’t mention you only want the job to hold you over until that Nigerian businessman’s estate sends you your $27 million.

 14. Writing “no permanent address” on the application form might be counter-productive. 13. First impressions matter! Offer the recruiter a sip from your juice box.

12. It’s still considered bad form to list your parole officer or bail bondsman as a personal reference.

 11. Since most female executives are a little insecure, they appreciate compliments on their breasts — particularly if you use really, really big words you learned in your online college courses.

10. Never go job hunting with Dick Cheney.

9. Do not write your cover letter using a #2 pencil. Or a pointy stick with #2 on the end of it.

 8. Ixnay on the igpay atinlay, Esterchay.

7. During first interviews, limit usage of the phrase “So long as Daddy gets his taste.”

 6. On a resume, it’s considered poor form to mention the javelin stuck in your back. However, before the interview, go ahead and inquire about the dimensions of the elevators.

5. Speaking Klingon does not make you multilingual, geekboy.

4. During the interview, it’s a good idea not to show *too* much interest in the details of the drug testing program.

3. Don’t show off your research by naming all the employees you consider do-able.

2. Leave your interviewer a thank-you card with a small gift enclosed, such as a wallet-sized rectangular portrait of Benjamin Franklin.

 and the Number 1 Job-Hunting Tip…

 1. Can’t find a job opening? Meet people who have the kind of job you want, then kill one………..

Wisdom from William Gates

  1. The Wisdom of William Gates===================

     

    Most everyone I know is struggling to get more money,even the well off.

     

    Far too many struggle just to make ends meet.

     

    Bill Gates is the world’s richest man. A lot of people don’t like him just because he is rich.

     

    These are a few of Bill Gate’s quotes. Whether you like him or not, I suggest that you heed wisdom from the world’s richest man.

     

    • Life is not fair, get used to it.

     

    • Your most unhappy customers are your greatest source of learning.

     

    • Every day were saying, “How can we keep this customer happy?”
    • How can we get ahead in innovation by doing this, because if we don’t, somebody else will.

     

    • Television is not real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

     

    • Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself.

     

    • In this business, by the time you realize you’re in trouble, it’s too late to save yourself. Unless you’re running scared all the time, you’re gone.

     

    • If you can’t make it good, at least make it look good.

     

    • It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.

     

    • If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn’t have tenure.

     

    • Success is a lousy teacher. It seduces smart people into thinking they can’t lose.

     

    • 640K ought to be enough for anybody. I’ve said some stupid things and some wrong things, but not that. No one involved in computers would ever say that a certain amount of memory is enough for all time.

     

    • Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools they have abolished failing grades; they’ll give you as many chances as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING.
    • Often you have to rely on intuition.

     

    • I realized about 10 years ago that my wealth has to go back to society. A fortune, the size of which is hard to imagine, is best not passed on to one’s children. It’s not constructive for them.

     

    • Until we’re educating every kid in a fantastic way, until every inner city is cleaned up, there is no shortage of things to do.

     

    • If you’re asking whether I intentionally mess up my hair, no, I don’t. And certain things, like my freckles, they’re just there. I don’t do anything consciously. I suppose I could get contact lenses. I suppose I could comb my hair more often.

     

    • If there’s one cultural quality we have, it’s that we always see ourselves as an underdog.

     

    • Microsoft was founded with a vision of a computer on every desk, and in every home. We’ve never wavered from that vision.

     

    • If you get health, then you have opportunity for literacy. Health first, then literacy. Once you have literacy, then you have a chance to bring in the new tools of communication. Let people reach out and have access to the latest advances.

     

    • My value is still so much higher than I ever expected it to be by a factor of about 50. So the fact that at one point it was say, a factor of 60, well – that wealth is all going back to society anyway.

     

    • There will be ‘two societies’ in the future: high-paid knowledge workers and low-paid service workers.

     

    • I’m committed to one company. This is the industry I’ve decided to work in.

     

    • I’m in the same traffic as everybody else. I’m in the same airplane delay as everybody else. I sit in the same coach seat as everybody else.

     

    • I keep bumping into that silly quotation attributed to me that says 640K of memory is enough. There’s never a citation; the quotation just floats like a rumor, repeated again and again.

     

    • I don’t think it’s constructive to grow up having billions of dollars. The idea that I will take a sizeable portion of my fortune and have them inherit that, I don’t think that would be to society’s benefit or to their benefit. I’ve spoken out about this before… my philosophy of giving back my wealth to society.

     

    ~William “Bill” H. Gates~

     

    Bill Gates was born 64 days before I was. He has accumulated a huge fortune. But so have I