A man is walking in a park when he gets to the psychic’s tent. Thinking this might be fun, he enters and sits down. - Looking at her crystal ball, she says “I see you have two children sir”. -Haha, that’s what you think, I have three kids. - Haha, that’s what you think.

The perfect man

5 secrets for the perfect relationship:

 You must find a man that makes you laugh a lot.

An independent man.

A man that is responsible and sincere.

 You must find a man that loves to make love.

And most important of all:

 You must find a way for these four men to never meet each other.

 

The new soldiers were having a lesson of “what to do if your parachute doesn’t open”. They were discussing about the emergency parachute, when one of them raised his hand and asked:

-Sir, if the first parachute doesn’t open, how much time do we have to open the emergency one?

The instructor looked him in the eye and said:

- The rest of your life.

 

A zebra is white with black stripes.

  Did you know……… some interesting facts

• All the planets in our solar system rotate anticlockwise, except Venus. It is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

• Hummingbirds are the only animal that can also fly backwards.

• Insects do not make noises with their voices. The noise of bees, mosquitoes and other buzzing insects is caused by rapidly moving their wings.

• The cockroach is the fastest animal on 6 legs  covering a meter a second.

• The word “listen” contains the same letters as the word “silent”.

• The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it’s head are the rabbit and the parrot.

• A ‘jiffy’ is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

• India invented the Number System. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.

• The whip makes a cracking sound because its tip moves faster than the speed of sound.

• A hippopotamus can run faster than a man.

• ‘Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia’ is the fear of long words.

• Didaskaleinophobia is the fear of going to school.

• Phobatrivaphobia is a fear of trivia about phobias !!

• It is impossible to lick your elbow. ( We know you gonna try this !!! )

• A snail can sleep for 3 years. ( wow, lucky chap eh ? )

• The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start

• In 1883 the explosion of the volcano Krakatoa put so much dust into the earth’s atmosphere that sunsets appeared green and the moon appeared blue around the world for almost two years.

• “Almost” is the longest word in the English language with all the letters in alphabetical order.

• Twenty-Four-Karat Gold is not pure gold since there is a small amount of copper in it. Absolutely pure gold is so soft that it can be molded with the hands.

• Electricity doesn’t move through a wire but through a field around the wire.

• Do you know the names of the three wise monkeys? They are: Mizaru (See no evil), Mikazaru (Hear no evil), and Mazaru (Say  no evil ).

• 55 per cent of people yawn within 5 minutes of seeing someone else yawn. Reading about yawning makes most people yawn.      hello, zzzzz zzzz ?

A group of frogs were traveling through the woods, and two of them fell into a deep pit. When the other frogs saw how deep the pit was, they told the two frogs that they were as good as dead. The two frogs ignored the comments and tried to jump up out of the pit with all their might. The other frogs kept telling them to stop, that they were as good as dead. Finally, one of the frogs took heed to what the other frogs were saying and gave up. He fell down and died.The other frog continued to jump as hard as he could. Once again, the crowd of frogs yelled at him to stop the pain and just die. He jumped even harder and finally made it out. When he got out, the other frogs said, “Did you not hear us?” The frog explained to them that he was deaf. He thought they were encouraging him the entire time. This story teaches two lessons: 1. There is power of life and death in the tongue. An encouraging word to someone who is down can lift them up and help them make it through the day. 2. A destructive word to someone who is down can be what it takes to kill them. Be careful of what you say. Speak life to those who cross your path. The power of words… it is sometimes hard to understand that an encouraging word can go such a long way. Anyone can speak words that tend to rob another of the spirit to continue in difficult times. Special is the individual who will take the time to encourage another. Author Unknown

Before Mount Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain on Earth? Mt.Everest

Can a man legally marry his widow’s sister in the state of California?
No, he’s dead

Clara Clatter was born on December 27th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?
She lived in the southern hemisphere.

He has married many women, but has never been married. Who is he?
A preacher.

How many of each animal did Moses take on the ark?
Moses didnt make the ark, Noah did.

How many times can you subtract the number 5 from 25?
Once, because after you subtract it’s not 25 anymore.

How much dirt is in a hole 4 feet deep and 2 feet wide?
There is no dirt in a hole.

I know a word of letters three, add two and fewer there will be.
Few

If a rooster laid a brown egg and a white egg, what kind of chicks would hatch?
Roosters don’t lay eggs.

THE 4 WIVES

There was a rich merchant who had 4 wives. He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to delicacies. He took great care of her and gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much. He’s very proud of her and always wanted to show off her to his friends. However, the merchant is always in great fear that she might run away with some other men.

He too, loved his 2nd wife. She is a very considerate person, always patient and in fact is the merchant’s confidante. Whenever the merchant faced some problems, he always turned to his 2nd wife and she would always help him out and tide him through difficult times.

Now, the merchant’s 1st wife is a very loyal partner and has made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and business as well as taking care of the household. However, the merchant did not love the first wife and although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her.

One day, the merchant fell ill. Before long, he knew that he was going to die soon. He thought of his luxurious life and told himself, “Now I have 4 wives with me. But when I die, I’ll be alone. How lonely I’ll be!”

Thus, he asked the 4th wife, “I loved you most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I’m dying, will you follow me and keep me company?” “No way!” replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word.

The answer cut like a sharp knife right into the merchant’s heart. The sad merchant then asked the 3rd wife, “I have loved you so much for all my life. Now that I’m dying, will you follow me and keep me company?” “No!” replied the 3rd wife. “Life is so good over here! I’m going to remarry when you die!” The merchant’s heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, “I always turned to you for help and you’ve always helped me out. Now I need your help again. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?” “I’m sorry, I can’t help you out this time!” replied the 2nd wife. “At the very most, I can only send you to your grave.” The answer came like a bolt of thunder and the merchant was devastated.

Then a voice called out : “I’ll leave with you. I’ll follow you no matter where you go.” The merchant looked up and there was his first wife. She was so skinny, almost like she suffered from malnutrition. Greatly grieved, the merchant said, “I should have taken much better care of you while I could have !”

Actually, we all have 4 wives in our lives

a. The 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it’ll leave us when we die.

b. Our 3rd wife ? Our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, they all go to others.

c. The 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how close they had been there for us when we’re alive, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.

d. The 1st wife is in fact our soul, often neglected in our pursuit of material, wealth and sensual pleasure.

Guess what? It is actually the only thing that follows us wherever we go. Perhaps it’s a good idea to cultivate and strengthen it now rather than to wait until we’re on our deathbed to lament.

Allah swt has made it easy for us to gain as many rewards (thawaab’s) as possible not only in our life but the benefit of many continue even after our death. Subhan Allah.

Here are some examples of things we can do now for life Hereafter :

The Actions Which Outlive You! (CONTINUING REWARDS EVEN AFTER DEATH)

الأعمال التي تبقى بعد زوالك

1. Give A Copy Of Quraan To Someone And Each Time They Read From It,
You Will Gain Hasanaat.

إعطاء D9سخة من القرآ ن لآي شخص وكل ما يقرأ هو, أنت, تكسب حسنات

2. Donate A Wheel Chair To A Hospital And Every Time A Sick Person Uses It, You Will Gain Hasanaat.

أتبرع بالكراسي الخاصة للمعاقين في المستشفيات,,وكلما استخدمت من الأشخاص
المعاقين,,يكون كل اجر

3. Share Constructive Reading Material with Someone.

شارك باستنتاجك واقتراحات في إي مشروع يحتاج ذلك

4. Help In Educating A Child.

 ساعد في تدريس الأطفال

5. Teach Someone To Recite A Dua. With Each Recitation You Will Gain Hasanaat.

لقن أو درس كيفي الدعاء (لغير الناطق للعربية)

6. Share A Dua Or Quraan CD.

شاركهم بالدعاء أو في شر7ء أو بناء أقر ص سي دي للقرآن

7. Participate In the Building of a Masjid

أتبرع للمشاركة في تكاليف بناء المساجد

8. Place A Water Cooler In A Public Place .

وضع ثلاجة مائية في مكان عام مزدحم بالمارين

9. Plant A Tree. Each Time Any Person Or An Animal Sits Under Its Shade Or Eats From The Tree, You Will Gain Hasanaat.

قم بزراعة الأشجار لأن إي شخص أو حيوان يأكل أو يستريح تحتها يكون كل اجر فيها

10. Share This Mail With Someone. If One Person Applies Any Of The Above You Will Receive Your Hasanaat Until The Day of Judgment.

أرسل هذا الأيميل لغيرك إذا إي شخص قام بعمل إي من هذه الصدقات الجارية
الموجودة هنا فأنت هذا العمل سو=D 9 تكسب بإذن الله الحسنات إلى يوم
القيامة

أرسل هذا الأيميل لغيرك ,,إذا إي شخص قام بعمل إي من هذه الصدقات الجارية
الموجودة هنا فأنت بهذا العمل سوف تكسب الحسنات إلى يوم القيام
بإذن الله

What has feet and legs, and nothing else? Stockings

What is the moon worth?
$1, because it has 4 quarters.

What grows when it eats, but dies when it drinks?
A candle.

What stays where it is when it goes off?
An alarm clock

You heard me before, yet you hear me again. Then I die, ’til you call me again. What am I?
An echo

There is a man standing over a dead body in a coffin, and another man walks in and asks, who’s in the coffin. The first man replies, brothers and sisters, I have none, but this man’s father is my fathers son. Who’s in the coffin?
His son

What has to be broken before it can be used? An egg.

What does no man want, yet no man wants to lose?
Work – Employment

How many bricks does it take to complete a building made of brick?
Only one, the last one.

What is everything to someone, and nothing to everyone else?
Your mind.

Big as a biscuit, deep as a cup, even a river can’t fill it up. What is it?
A kitchen strainer.

What goes up and never comes down?
Your age.

What’s the greatest worldwide use of cowhide?
To cover cows.

If you have it, you want to share it. If you share it, you don’t have it. What is it? A secret.

I decided to give Riddles a go. This entire week, I am going to post Riddles. I remember how much I loved those when I was younger. Dunno when they got lost but here’s a nice chance to revive them. Hey no peeping … do it for the fun of it.

The more you have of it, the less you see. What is it?
Darkness

What book was once owned by only the wealthy, but now everyone can have it?
You can’t buy it in a bookstore or take it from a library.
A telephone book.

What gets whiter the dirtier that it gets?
A chalkboard

What happened in the middle of the twentieth century that will not happen again for 4,000 years?
The year 1961 can be read upside down and that won’t happen again until 6009!

What has no beginning, end, or middle?
A doughnut.

 

Always forgive your enemies – Nothing annoys them so much.

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.

I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

When I’m not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory.  Some just don’t have film.

You know the speed of light, so what’s the speed of dark?

Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, then kill them.

I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.

Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need more.(Friend or Money !)

Death is hereditary.

There are three sides to any argument: your side, my side and the right side.

An consultant is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

Never argue with a fool. People might not know the difference.

When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.

Cheer up, the worst is yet to come.

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

Everyone makes mistakes. The trick is to make mistakes when nobody is looking.

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Always borrow money from a pessimist.  He won’t expect it back.

I like work.  It fascinates me.  I  sit and look at it for hours.

If you can’t see the bright side of life, polish the dull side.

Where there’s a will, there are five hundred relatives.

Everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to die.

My kids never seize to amaze me , especially Eman. His self confidence seems to have got a real boost ever since he joined BILD. Thank fully. His teachers, classmates and all seem to just adore him. Sometimes,  I feel he would be best suited to an acting career. He has a natural flair to act,  he is so confident on stage and his expressions are simply marvelous when he is in a play.

It amused me beyond measure when last week, as I went to pick him up from school. He had a bandage on his knee and he was limping. With a broad smile he began explaining just what had happened. His teacher peered out and explained too and said, that while they were dressing his wound, instead of crying, his humor got the best of him, and he asked,” Is this the end of my career ?? ” His teacher couldnt help herself and was laughing away too.

 Last thursday he got a merit certificate for being the most well behaved and obident student in his class. He proudly exhibited it around to us. When I told the same to his father in the evening. Sam was beside himself. He not only had him stand on the table but asked us all to clap for him to encourage him. This little brat of mine, bowed down several times before us before showering us with flying kisses and said very theatreically : 

 ” Oh thank you, thank you, thank you  …………Your very kind…………….. I have no words to say “

  Needless to say, Sam and I, exchanged glances and broke into a big laugh !! What do I do about this little fellow !!

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

Children seldom misquote you. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn’t have said.

Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.

Insanity is hereditary. You get it from your kids.

I love to give homemade gifts. Which one of my kids do you want?

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents, despite every effort to teach them good manners.

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the drive before it has stopped snowing.

“There is only one pretty child in the world… and every  mother has it.” -  Chinese Proverb.

Children will soon forget your presents. They will always remember your presence.

The main purpose of holding children’s parties is to remind yourself that there are children more awful than your own.

Grandchildren are God’s reward for not killing your kids.

“Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?”

You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you can never fool mom.

A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school clothes.

Anyone who says “Easy as taking candy from a baby” has never tried it.

The best inheritance parents can give their children is a few minutes of their time each day.

There are several men sitting around in the locker room of a golf club after a round, showering and getting changed for the 19th hole.

Suddenly a mobile phone on one of the benches rings.One of the men picks it up, and the following conversation ensues:

Husband – “Hello?”
Wife – “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?”

Husband – “Yes.”
Wife -”Great! I am at the mall two blocks from where you are. I just saw a beautiful leather coat. It’s absolutely gorgeous!! Can I buy it?”

Husband -”What’s the price?”
Wife – “Only $1,000.”

Husband – “Well, OK, go ahead and get it, if you like it that much…”
Wife – “Ahhh, and I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2003 models. I saw one I really liked. Its a SLK model. I spoke with the salesman, and he gave me a really good price . and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..

Husband – “What price did he quote you?”
Wife – “Only $65,000…”

Husband – “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”
Wife – “Great! But before we hang up, something else…

Husband -”What?”
Wife – “It might look like a lot, but I was reconciling your bank account and I stopped by the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It’s for sale!! Remember? The one with a pool English garden, acre of park area, beach front property.”

Husband – “How much are they asking?”
Wife – “Only $450,000 — a magnificent price…and I see that we have that much in the bank to cover…”

Husband – “Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid up to $420,000. OK?”
Wife – “OK,sweetie…Thanks! I’ll see you later!! I love you!!!”

Husband – “Bye…I love you too…”

The man hangs up & closes the phone’s flap. The other men are looking at him in astonishment and derision. The husband raises his hand while holding the phone and asks “Does anyone know who this Cellphone belongs to???”

Why Pig Fat is not mentioned but code(s) are printed??

In nearly all the western countries including Europe, the PRIMARY choice for meat is PIG. There are a lot of farms in these countries to breed this animal.

In France alone, pig farms account for more than 42,000.

PIGS have the highest quantity of FAT in their body compared to other animals. And Europeans and Americans try to avoid fats.

Thus, where does the FAT from these PIGS go? All pigs are cut in slaughter houses under the control of the department of food and it was the headache of the department of food to dispose of the fat removed from these pigs.

Formally, it was burnt (about 60 years ago). Then they thought of utilizing it. First, they experimented it in the making of SOAPS and it worked.

Then, a full network was formed and this FAT was chemically processed, packed and marketed, while the other manufacturing companies bought it. In the meantime, all European states made a rule that every Food, Medical and Personal Hygiene product should have the ingredients listed on its cover. So, this ingredient was listed as PIG FAT.

Those who are living in Europe for the past 40 years know about this.
But, these products came under a ban by the ISLAMIC COUNTRIES at that
time, which resulted in a trade deficit to the western countries. 

Going back in time, if you are somehow related to South East Asia, you might know about the provoking factors of the 1857 INDIAN MUTINY. At that time, rifle bullets were made in Europe and transported to the sub-continent by sea vessels. It took months to reach India and the gun powder in it was ruined due to the exposure to sea.

Then, they got the idea of coating the bullets with fat, which was PIG FAT. The fat layer had to be scratched by teeth before using them. When the word spread, the soldiers, mostly Muslim and some Vegetarians, refused to fight, which eventually lead to the mutiny.
The Europeans recognized these facts, and instead of writing PIG FAT,
they started writing ANIMAL FAT. All those living in Europe since the 1970’s know this fact. When the companies were asked by authorities from the MUSLIM countries, what animal fat is it, they were told it was COW and SHEEP Fat. Here again a question raised, if it was COW or SHEEP Fat, it was still HARAAM to MUSLIMS, as these animals were not SLAUGHTERED as per the ISLAMIC LAW. Thus, they were again banned.
Now, these multinational companies were again facing a severe drought of money as 75% of their income comes from selling their goods to Muslim countries, and these earn BILLIONS OF DOLLARS of profit from their exports to the MUSLIM WORLD.

Finally they decided to start a coding language, so that only their Departments of Food Administration should know what they are using, and the common man is left in the dark.Thus, they started E-CODES. These E-INGREDIENTS are present in a majority of products of multinational firms including, but not limited to . . .

TOOTH PASTE, SHAVING CREAM, CHEWING GUM, CHOCOLATE, SWEETS, BISCUITS, CORN FLAKES, TOFFEES, CANNED FOODS,
FRUIT TINS, some medication Multi-vitamins, etc. 

 

Since these goods are being commonly used in all MUSLIM Countries, our society is facing problems like shamelessness, rudeness and sexual promiscuity.

So, I request all MUSLIMS or non-pork eaters to check the ingredients of the ITEMS of daily use and match it with the following list of E-CODES. If any of the ingredients listed below is found, try to avoid it, as it contains PIG FAT.

E-Codes:
E100, E110, E120, E 140, E141, E153,

E210, E213, E214, E216, E234, E252,E270, E280,

E325, E326, E327, E334, E335, E336, E337,

E422, E430, E431, E432, E433, E434, E435, E436, E440, E470, E471, E472, E473, E474, E475,E476, E477, E478, E481, E482, E483, E491, E492, E493, E494, E495,
E542,E570, E572,

E631, E635,

E904.

Courtesy

Dr. M. Amjad Khan
Medical Research Institute
United States

Dr M Liaqat (PhD Food Biochemistry)
MA CONSULTING UK

A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper, and he handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After his mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it, and this is what it said:

a. For cutting the grass: $5.00
b. For cleaning up my room this week: $1.00
c. For going to the store for you: .50
d. Babysitting my kid brother while you went shopping: .25
e. Taking out the garbage: $1.00
f. For getting a good report card: $5.00
g. For cleaning up and raking the yard: $2.00

Total owed: $14.75

Well, his mother looked at him standing there, the boy could see the memories flashing through her mind. She picked up the pen, turned over the paper he’d written on, and this is what she wrote:

a. For 9 months I carried you while you were growing inside me: No Charge.
b. For all the nights that I’ve sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you: No Charge.
c. For all the trying times, and all the tears that you’ve caused through the years: No Charge.
d. For all the nights that were filled with dread, and for the worries I knew
were ahead: No Charge.
e. For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose: No Charge.

Son, When you add it up, the cost of my love is: No Charge.

When the boy finished reading what his mother had written, there were big tears in his eyes, and he looked straight at his mother and said, “Mum, I sure do love you”.

And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote: “PAID IN FULL”

“Your Lord has decreed that you should worship nothing except Him, and show) kindness to your parents, whether one or both of them attain old age (while they are) still with you, never say to them ‘Shame! nor scold either of them. Speak to them in a generous fashion. Protect them carefully and say: ‘My Lord, show them mercy, just as they cared for me as a little child’” [surah 17:23-24]